How to Make a Healthy Snack
McBites = Modern McNuggets?
Slow Cooker Recipes
When Should Bars Cut You Off?
How to Scrape a Vanilla Bean
Best Riffs on Hot Chocolate
By: Domino’s Pizza
Suggested Retail Price: $3.99
After seeing the commercial for this product, a “dessert pizza” topped with crushed Oreo cookies and a white gooey substance, I suspected a sacrilegious monstrosity that would make Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ look like a Norman Rockwell painting.
I wasn’t disappointed. (For a candid glimpse of my first bite, check out the accompanying video.)
The dish is delivered hot, a strange choice considering that it may sit out, growing lukewarm, until its traditional pizza cousin is first consumed. Its thin, nonsweetened crust has all the depth of flavor and texture of cheap matzo, and the only selling point is that it doesn’t overpower the mildly chocolate Oreo cookies and disconcertingly gluey marshmallow fluff. The latter stands in for Oreo’s more frostinglike creamy middle; clearly having a pizza covered in Oreo filling would be too heavy to bear.
These things being said, the dessert pizza makes sense, at least in terms of gonzo creativity: It’s a major step forward from an older Domino’s offering, Cinna Stix, which are little more than repurposed scraps of crust with cinnamon topping and icing dip. And it will almost certainly get some play from stoners, who enjoy ordering deliveries of items like hot cookies and chunky ice cream, so they do not have to leave the house. But even within the “cannabis haze” sector of snack consumption, it seems likely that support for this product will quickly wane, and we can expect to see it disappear in three to six months.
By: Kellogg’s
Suggested Retail Price: $3.99 for a box of 24
I take little pride in writing that I am probably one of the few 31-year-old men still eating Cocoa Krispies for breakfast, but I do it to give credence to the following statement: If you like Cocoa Krispies, you’ll hate Cocoa Krispies Cereal Straws. Both these and Froot Loops Cereal Straws play off the idea that the cereals flavor the milk at the bottom of your bowl. Love that taste? Well, in theory, you can suck milk through these edible straws and obtain the same experience without all the work of eating a bowl of cereal.
It’s a novel and promising concept, and when I opened the box, I liked what I saw: a substantial stack of chocolate-brown cookie tubes that looked for all the world like Pepperidge Farm Pirouettes, a very successful American adaptation of a classic European tea biscuit. But things went downhill with extreme haste from there.
The Achilles heel of the cereal straws: Milk sucked through them receives very little flavor. To their credit, they stay crispy when dipped. In fact, durability (both in transit and in milk) is one of the few positive qualities the straws boast. When eaten, they don’t taste like much of anything. They certainly don’t taste like Pirouettes; more like a cracker, minus the salt. Did the Kellogg’s industrial food engineering department promise more than it could deliver? Or did the marketing executives write an audacious check that no cook, regardless of talent, could ever cash? Either way, give these things a wide berth, and if you want flavored milk, finish your cereal.
i reckon these mass-market giants were trying to cash in on a concept that has been popular in Australia/Europe/South America for quite some time now --
Sippah Straws!
linkage:-
http://themeticulousmommy.com/2008/08/26/sippah-straw-for-a-hesitant-milk-drinker-2/
They do what your Froot Loop Cereal Straws were aiming for, I imagine. Thankfully minus the hideous additives whilst encouraging...+READ
i reckon these mass-market giants were trying to cash in on a concept that has been popular in Australia/Europe/South America for quite some time now --
Sippah Straws!
linkage:-
http://themeticulousmommy.com/2008/08/26/sippah-straw-for-a-hesitant-milk-drinker-2/
They do what your Froot Loop Cereal Straws were aiming for, I imagine. Thankfully minus the hideous additives whilst encouraging the drinking of actual milk. Their only down side, from an adult perspective, is that the taste hit comes on strong at first but diminishes fairly rapidly as you continue to drink the milk...
still, best way i've found for those of us who just aren't huge fans of milk to get some in our diet without the extra calories and crazy sugars ...
nor being forced to resort to expensive diet "thick shake" type inventions that taste something akin to pureed cardboard with a hint of the Twilight Zone.-COLLAPSE
Booze makes anything better!
I wonder what mixed sweet cocktails would be like sipped through cereal straws?
love the cat commentary in the video.
i had no urge at all to try that oreo pizza thing.... something about it just looked gross.
although, i have to say, the commercials were entertaining. i really really want them to do one where the guy gets an Oreo FRO....
The Oreo pizza was abyssmal. Absolutely gross to the point that I emailed a comment to Dominoes who said they'd get back to me. It was like they had all this leftover pizza dough and didn't know what to do with it. The dough was cardboard, the icing was like they took surplus discount bakery supplies and the oreos got mushy (and not in a good cookies and cream ice cream way either).
Great video. My initial reaction to the Oreo-pizza dessert commercial was the same as yours. "ya gotta be kiddin', eh?" Feel sorry for the parents whose small children insist on ordering this slop. At least the pot-heads have somewhat of a valid excuse for ordering this, and afterwards they know they deserved the misery they endured...........(if they can remember they ate it).
Loved the video -- excellent delivery of "This is not fantastic."
I did actually sample the Fruit Loops variety, and you're right -- they were pretty similar to the cereal in terms of taste. I liked the texture a lot less, however, and they really didn't do anything to flavor the milk, which strikes me as a profound betrayal of the premise. I do my best not to make this column a constant scourging of mass-market food companies, but with products like this, my...+READ
I did actually sample the Fruit Loops variety, and you're right -- they were pretty similar to the cereal in terms of taste. I liked the texture a lot less, however, and they really didn't do anything to flavor the milk, which strikes me as a profound betrayal of the premise. I do my best not to make this column a constant scourging of mass-market food companies, but with products like this, my hands are tied.-COLLAPSE
Very interesting. Did you also happen to sample the Fruit Loops variety? They ended up tasting like, well, Fruit Loops. They did have that cream coating the inside and like you said, there was little taste to the milk when drunken through but it's an intersting snack by itself.