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Dear Helena,
I have a friend who eats like a horse, though she never gets fat. I can’t help making lighthearted comments such as: “You can really pack it away.” One day we both ordered the same thing, spaghetti with three giant meatballs. I could only eat two. My friend ate everything and cleaned her plate with bread. I said something like, “Where do you put it all?” She exploded: “You’re always commenting on how much I eat, and I hate it! Was your mother anorexic or something?” Whoa! I thought I was giving her props! Obviously, it’s rude to remark on how much a woman eats if she’s hefty. But is it rude to comment when skinny or regular-size women eat hearty portions, and if so, why? —Two Meatballs
Dear Two Meatballs,
Some women say they like it when people remark on their hearty appetites. Maralee Burgard, a UC Berkeley student blessed with a fast metabolism, eats such large portions that her friends know to schedule extra time when they share a meal with her. “I feel a sense of pride and empowerment that I’m a woman and can eat more than many men,” she says.
But, unfortunately, most women are anxious about their weight, regardless of their body size. Drawing attention to how much your female companion is eating could trigger feelings of insecurity: “Am I eating too much? Is my friend trying to tell me I’m fat?” You never know how confident a woman is in her relationship with food, so you should never comment on how much (or how little, for that matter) she is consuming.
Besides, the question assumes that there is a generally accepted amount that women should and do eat. Few people would exclaim in wonder when men eat hearty portions. But when a woman eats like a truck driver, men feel moved to comment. Why?
Diane Harriford, director of women’s studies at Vassar College, has one explanation: “Voraciousness is seen as troublesome in women; we’re not supposed to take up too much space, have too many desires.”
A hungry woman stirs up some deep terrors, according to Harriford. “In some preindustrial cultures when there was a scarcity of meat, men knocked women’s teeth out so they couldn’t eat any of it.” When women eat a lot, it may trigger a primitive anxiety about getting enough oneself. Were you afraid your friend might go after your meatballs?
In future, concentrate on what’s on your own plate. Harriford says: “The only other group’s eating you comment on is children. The assumption is they don’t have the sense to know how much to eat. So commenting on how much women eat is worse than poor etiquette. It’s infantilizing.” It’s even worse than ordering for her without permission.
Have a Table Manners question? Email Helena. Read more Table Manners.
Simply must clarify: The only eating you should comment on is YOUR OWN children.
Throughout history a good appetite has been perceived as a sign of good health; I eat like a horse and I am of average size. When I was younger I had a roommate from northern Europe and she noticed that I was very hungry when I woke up. She declared that was a sign of good health.
mercy, i commented on another post about an experience i've had a couple of times with waitstaff who felt compelled to take away my plate when there is still food on it, without asking, mostly in the case of appetizers. Once or twice, I or we have asked for the plate to remain and i just end up feeling like a big ole piggy for wanting to eat more. Other times i've laughed and said, oh well, i...+READ
mercy, i commented on another post about an experience i've had a couple of times with waitstaff who felt compelled to take away my plate when there is still food on it, without asking, mostly in the case of appetizers. Once or twice, I or we have asked for the plate to remain and i just end up feeling like a big ole piggy for wanting to eat more. Other times i've laughed and said, oh well, i guess I was done hey!
On the original note...I once had an experience several years ago while having lunch with my sister. There were two women dining alone in the restaurant, one elderly and another in her 30's i guess who was somewhat overweight (i comment only for the story, not something i usually notice really, and people have weight issues in my family, including at times myself). Ennyhoo, i think there had been a few comments passed back and forth between the two , polite convo etc. The younger lady had ordered, and started to eat a dessert (something this place was known for), at which point, the elderly lady states loud and condescendingly enough for everyone to hear "oh dear...do you REALLY think you need that?"...i was mortified for her, and truly felt like smacking the old bag, respect for the elderly aside. When anyone comments on someone's weight I always think to myself, for all people know, this person has already lost 100 pounds, and I thought to myself that day, that for all that elderly woman knew, this woman was celebrating a weight loss or some other event like a divorce or something, i dunno, with a slab of cake. Besides, which, who cares, and it's none of anyone's business. Since when are people allowed to be in charge of stranger's dietary habits.
She NEVER would have made that comment to a thin woman.-COLLAPSE
Straying a bit from the original topic, but it is especially annoying to me when wait staff feel compelled to comment on a clean plate. "I'd ask if you were still working on this, but I can see you finished it" or some such inane remark. Yes, fortunately, these comments usually come from your less chowish restaurants, but they're still rude. I've been tempted to ask if I'd be charged less if I...+READ
Straying a bit from the original topic, but it is especially annoying to me when wait staff feel compelled to comment on a clean plate. "I'd ask if you were still working on this, but I can see you finished it" or some such inane remark. Yes, fortunately, these comments usually come from your less chowish restaurants, but they're still rude. I've been tempted to ask if I'd be charged less if I had left a few bites, but, oh yeah, that'd be rude...-COLLAPSE
Maybe she was just tired of hearing you repeat yourself over and over and over and......over.
My husband will do that and it makes me crazy. Once, when he first met my cousin who had just paid a ridiculous amount of $$ for a camera battery, my husband talked about it for about 2 hours until I told him ENOUGH! LET IT GO! The horse is dead, ship has sailed, night has fallen, water under the...+READ
Maybe she was just tired of hearing you repeat yourself over and over and over and......over.
My husband will do that and it makes me crazy. Once, when he first met my cousin who had just paid a ridiculous amount of $$ for a camera battery, my husband talked about it for about 2 hours until I told him ENOUGH! LET IT GO! The horse is dead, ship has sailed, night has fallen, water under the bridge....
I tell him often, "make your point already"-COLLAPSE
There are so many factors involved in how much a person is choosing to eat at any particular time that it just seems pointless to remark on someone else’s appetite. I know that mine varies considerably from day to day.
I personally find this kind of thing uncomfortable because my mom is really obsessive about weight, both her own and others. I remember when I was engaged, how she would cast a...+READ
There are so many factors involved in how much a person is choosing to eat at any particular time that it just seems pointless to remark on someone else’s appetite. I know that mine varies considerably from day to day.
I personally find this kind of thing uncomfortable because my mom is really obsessive about weight, both her own and others. I remember when I was engaged, how she would cast a pall over what should have been festive occasions like shopping for a dress with comments like, “Now, don’t eat too much – you won’t be able to fit into your dress.” I feel compelled to note that I have always been petite-to-average, so there doesn’t seem to be any rational justification for her apparent fear that I will suddenly balloon up. I had lunch w/ her yesterday and ordered a lunch special: ½ sandwich, cup of soup and side salad. She commented with surprise several times on the fact that I managed to eat it all, and how she could barely eat half of her meal. I feel like this is some kind of contest with her, and while I don’t feel I normally have food “issues” I admit that her nudging has the opposite effect on me, causing me to want to eat more!
Then again, perhaps I am just excessively fastidious. I have been working out quite a lot for the past year or so and do look more fit and trim than usual. I am happy about this and happy enough when acquaintances notice and say that I look good. But I am uncomfortable when they say, “Gee, you’ve lost weight!” “You’ve lost a lot of weight!” Even, egads, “How much weight have you lost?” Not only is what they’re saying not particularly true (I imagine I have lost fat and gained muscle, but my overall weight hasn’t fluctuated all that dramatically) it just strikes me as weirdly personal.-COLLAPSE
These topics are great. Not so much the original post but the baggage the "commentors" bring. One assumes that 2 Meatballs is a man, another that he/she is a woman. (It isn't specified.) One woman gets in a man's face over something he didn't say. Sexual politics from the director of womens' studies at a womens' college. Body image and eating disorders. "Eat before you eat". Better entertainment...+READ
These topics are great. Not so much the original post but the baggage the "commentors" bring. One assumes that 2 Meatballs is a man, another that he/she is a woman. (It isn't specified.) One woman gets in a man's face over something he didn't say. Sexual politics from the director of womens' studies at a womens' college. Body image and eating disorders. "Eat before you eat". Better entertainment than network TV.-COLLAPSE
Did your mothers not teach you to eat something before dining in company?
What about the ones that LOVE to hear people comment about their "supposedly" hearty appetite?
I used to know two girls who would brag they eat like horses but it was all talk. I would see them pick at their foods and or tell me it wasn't cooked the way they like it. They would take one bite and say it's awful. They love it when people (friends/strangers) compliment on how they can be so...+READ
What about the ones that LOVE to hear people comment about their "supposedly" hearty appetite?
I used to know two girls who would brag they eat like horses but it was all talk. I would see them pick at their foods and or tell me it wasn't cooked the way they like it. They would take one bite and say it's awful. They love it when people (friends/strangers) compliment on how they can be so skinny *rolls eyes*-COLLAPSE
I wish I could still "pack it away" like I used to! My friend randomly met another friend of mine in another country and they realised they both knew me when the topic of "skinny girls who eat everything" came up in conversation. I guess you could say I was once famous for the amount of food I ate!
As an overweight woman who is now learning to eat in relation to "true hunger" and not stress and/or boredom, I can totally understand the sensitivity regarding perceptions of how much I eat in public. One major source of counseling for me focused on eating when I am actually hungry, and not thinking about what the people around me were saying. This has been very difficult to accomplish because...+READ
As an overweight woman who is now learning to eat in relation to "true hunger" and not stress and/or boredom, I can totally understand the sensitivity regarding perceptions of how much I eat in public. One major source of counseling for me focused on eating when I am actually hungry, and not thinking about what the people around me were saying. This has been very difficult to accomplish because of past and present mean comments directed to my eating habits. But, I can happily say that I'm now paying less attention to comments and more attention to stopping when I'm no longer hungry and drinking water before I eat to establish whether the issue is actually hunger or thirst. As a result, I'm losing weight....along with sticking with my exercise plan. I'm also noticing that when I eat, I want "good food", fresh veggies, meat that is well prepared and food that is presented with beauty and care. Food is subjective, so please bear that in mind when next you eat with someone with a hearty appetite. And, by the way for "Two Meatballs", you asked a valid question. We don't learn if we don't ask. I'm sure you did not mean to upset your friend...just call it a life lesson, call her and offer to buy the dinner of her choice.-COLLAPSE
I agree with most comments said above. I am not tiny, but I do carefully watch what I eat a lot and work out. I normally am a good judge of my hunger when I am not so hungry for lunch I have yogurt and a piece of fruit, but when I am hungry I eat. My bf now that we have been together for a while makes comments now and then and sometimes out with his guy friends they are like, "wow, you can put...+READ
I agree with most comments said above. I am not tiny, but I do carefully watch what I eat a lot and work out. I normally am a good judge of my hunger when I am not so hungry for lunch I have yogurt and a piece of fruit, but when I am hungry I eat. My bf now that we have been together for a while makes comments now and then and sometimes out with his guy friends they are like, "wow, you can put some food away how do you do that". I just smile graciously knowing that I eat when I am hungry and don't snack when I am not. I think sometimes they are jealous because they can't do that with their lifestyle.
Lucky for me no one comments about it often because I do get a little embarrassed, especially because I also tend to eat fast when I am hungry so it can seem like I am shoveling it in and I am a little self-conscious of that. I think it is best not to comment, especially often, however if someone does comment you have to remember they may be admiring the trait as many people do.-COLLAPSE
"I think women who have a healthy apetite are very atractive.'
Unless they're obese, right?
Right or wrong, that seems to be the prevailing attitude, and so most people are understandably reluctant to be singled out for their gustatory gusto. Whether you'd rather see somebody finish their dinner and lick the plate or be super-teeny and take one bite, you simply don't say anything about how...+READ
"I think women who have a healthy apetite are very atractive.'
Unless they're obese, right?
Right or wrong, that seems to be the prevailing attitude, and so most people are understandably reluctant to be singled out for their gustatory gusto. Whether you'd rather see somebody finish their dinner and lick the plate or be super-teeny and take one bite, you simply don't say anything about how much a person eats, because it's just plain rude. Period. Fashion models who claim to eat like horses ARE SAYING IT ABOUT THEMSELVES, not somebody else. Surely you can get your approval across without saying anything out loud. Bringing the subject up smacks of passive-aggressive behavior.-COLLAPSE
As a rule of thumb, just don't do it. Sure, plenty of women consider it a compliment to have this trait noticed, but most women would not like to have it pointed out. Don't risk making people feel uncomfortable during a nice meal with you.
I think women who have a healthy apetite are very atractive. I usually tend to think there is something wrong with a woman who eats like a bird.
Why infuse the issue with gender & politics? The issue is the rudeness of continuing to comment in an inappropriate fashion on your friend's personality traits & choices. A good friend would have said "you enjoyed those meatballs so much...would you like the rest of mine?" If she always wore red nailpolish, would you comment on this fact every time you saw her? Not if you were a good...+READ
Why infuse the issue with gender & politics? The issue is the rudeness of continuing to comment in an inappropriate fashion on your friend's personality traits & choices. A good friend would have said "you enjoyed those meatballs so much...would you like the rest of mine?" If she always wore red nailpolish, would you comment on this fact every time you saw her? Not if you were a good friend--instead, you'd see a nifty new shade and bring her a bottle.-COLLAPSE
I knew I was falling for my husband when he admiringly said "Wow, you eat with such gusto!!!"
I considered it a compliment.
As a skinny girl with a serious appetite, it doesn't particularly bother me if people comment in passing on my ability to pack away food, but it still seems slightly rude as far as polite dinner conversation topics go. Plus, especially if one woman comments in a group context about another woman's ability to eat, it seems to always initiate the group, who are inevitably down about their weight,...+READ
As a skinny girl with a serious appetite, it doesn't particularly bother me if people comment in passing on my ability to pack away food, but it still seems slightly rude as far as polite dinner conversation topics go. Plus, especially if one woman comments in a group context about another woman's ability to eat, it seems to always initiate the group, who are inevitably down about their weight, to start a bitchfest and comment on how "not fair" it that the skinny girl gets to eat whatever she wants.-COLLAPSE
Smalph and lebelage are on the money -- they said it all.
OP -- You reveal yourself when you say you "can’t help making lighthearted comments" -- do you always make jokes to your bald headed friend or constantly touch tender pregnant bellies?
Get a CLUE!
Very interesting read. Personally, I haven't encountered the "you eat so much for a girl" attitude. As buonaforchetta mentioned, French chefs don't trust people who only nibble, and with good reason.
My family is pretty much the same way - if you don't eat with gusto, my parents, sister, brother-in-law, etc. all look at you as if you're an alien. They're suspicious of those with less-than-robust...+READ
Very interesting read. Personally, I haven't encountered the "you eat so much for a girl" attitude. As buonaforchetta mentioned, French chefs don't trust people who only nibble, and with good reason.
My family is pretty much the same way - if you don't eat with gusto, my parents, sister, brother-in-law, etc. all look at you as if you're an alien. They're suspicious of those with less-than-robust appetites, like you must be wimpy. Food is very important to them, and if it seems as if you're not enjoying yourself, they kind of take it to heart.-COLLAPSE
According to Professor J. Crankton Riggs, Director of Women's Studies at Eton, a woman with a healthy appetite is "more sensuous and better able to enjoy those sexual experiences which require her to concentrate."
What kills me is that the writer appears to be asking permission to say something that clearly upset her friend. That's all that mattered - her friend finally had enough of the "wow, you can sure pack it away!" comments and got sick of it. Consider this her friends turn to not hear about how much she eats.
And as much as folks do want to say, "oh, it doesn't bother me, therefore it shouldn't...+READ
What kills me is that the writer appears to be asking permission to say something that clearly upset her friend. That's all that mattered - her friend finally had enough of the "wow, you can sure pack it away!" comments and got sick of it. Consider this her friends turn to not hear about how much she eats.
And as much as folks do want to say, "oh, it doesn't bother me, therefore it shouldn't bother anyone else!" food is personal. Consider the sheer number of diet books on the shelves - look at the magazines at the checkout next time you're at the grocery that have diet tips contained within - check out your local healthfood store's diet supplements - remember the ban on thin models in Europe this year - the number of specialty cooking items that promise to cook items in the healthiest way possible? The food-to-fat obsession we have in this country is bordering psychotic. Fortunately all of these examples have the advantage of being passive things you can easily ignore. Your friend who is supposed to be enjoying a meal for you that comments on the amount of food that you eat is not exactly a passive thing.
Honestly, is there anything great that can come of making a friend uncomfortable? If you enjoy this person's company at meals, keep the only conversation about food should be about how it tastes.
Food is good, why ruin it with what can become (at best) backhanded compliments that do nothing but perpetuate the vilification of food?-COLLAPSE
I think any woman who lives to eat instead of just eating to live should come live in Italy. Being a woman as such, here I am always not only appreciated for my appetite and ability to stay slim but usually most restaurants offer extra special tastes or even make dishes just for me as they call people like me a "buona forchetta (a good fork!). The response here is always positive, "Hey, you seem...+READ
I think any woman who lives to eat instead of just eating to live should come live in Italy. Being a woman as such, here I am always not only appreciated for my appetite and ability to stay slim but usually most restaurants offer extra special tastes or even make dishes just for me as they call people like me a "buona forchetta (a good fork!). The response here is always positive, "Hey, you seem to love ot eat; well try this you'll love it; and they await my opinion." Oddly enough I also learned in France years ago that true chefs never trust the opinion of someone who only nibbles! Your friend should have responded, "Thank you. May I have your last meatball?"-COLLAPSE
There is no indication in the story that the woman is the least bit sensitive about her weight or her eating habits. The writer said " I can’t help making lighthearted comments" about her eating and the woman eventually responded "You’re always commenting on how much I eat, and I hate it! Was your mother anorexic or something?". The issue isn't so much the food, as the fact the writer insisted on...+READ
There is no indication in the story that the woman is the least bit sensitive about her weight or her eating habits. The writer said " I can’t help making lighthearted comments" about her eating and the woman eventually responded "You’re always commenting on how much I eat, and I hate it! Was your mother anorexic or something?". The issue isn't so much the food, as the fact the writer insisted on mentioning it every time they got together. It could just as easily have been the writer always saying "wow, you've got really curly hair" or something. She just got fed up with him harping on it.
The writer needs to learn that mentioning something once is one thing, but incessantly bringing it up is annoying. Regardless of the topic or the sex of the other person.-COLLAPSE
Top model Giselle Bündchen is know for enjoying her food and eating a lot. She's proud to say "I eat like a horse".
Knowing how important she is as a role model for millions of girls all over the world, Giselle does her part in preventing eating disorders. Last week in Brazil she was shown eating 2 pieces of chocolate cake for dessert (after a very good meal), and said that she keeps fit by...+READ
Top model Giselle Bündchen is know for enjoying her food and eating a lot. She's proud to say "I eat like a horse".
Knowing how important she is as a role model for millions of girls all over the world, Giselle does her part in preventing eating disorders. Last week in Brazil she was shown eating 2 pieces of chocolate cake for dessert (after a very good meal), and said that she keeps fit by working out.
It is something so old fashined to think women should pretend to be something "out from this world". As if we wren't "material girls"! We must teach the new generations that lovely women are the ones who enjoys themselves, eating well, exercising their bodies and minds, loving and being loved.-COLLAPSE
"Diane Harriford, director of women’s studies at Vassar College, has one explanation: “Voraciousness is seen as troublesome in women; we’re not supposed to take up too much space, have too many desires.”
Give me a break! This is the most ridiculous comment I have ever heard? Who says we aren't supposed to take up space or have desires? Maybe weak women who want to be victims their whole lives...+READ
"Diane Harriford, director of women’s studies at Vassar College, has one explanation: “Voraciousness is seen as troublesome in women; we’re not supposed to take up too much space, have too many desires.”
Give me a break! This is the most ridiculous comment I have ever heard? Who says we aren't supposed to take up space or have desires? Maybe weak women who want to be victims their whole lives and act like the whole world is out to get them.
I eat what I want. If someone cares to comment, I will give them a truthfull response, such as "mind your own business" or "please don't comment on my food, I hate that" End of story!-COLLAPSE
I don't like comments about what I am eating, or how much, and I am not overweight or a large eater. I just don't care to discuss my eating with anyone.
I would like to point out that eating large quantities is very different to voraciousness.
"I've always been of a mind that it is rude to comment about how much anyone is or isn't eating regardless of gender."
It may or may not be rude, but, most guys would not be offended.
Ian
It's hard to take this out of context and have an educated opinion. It does seem like 2 meatballs has a bit of an obsession or a little bit of jealousy about how much the friend can eat. Friendship for me is about communicating. Maybe 2 meatballs had a bad day, maybe the friend could just apologize for the ruffled feathers and they could just move on.
This is a tough one because either (1) she has issues with food (even if she is ‘skinny,’ as you say) and she felt insecure and snapped, or (2) Two Meatballs, you are just jerky and teasing, and she’d had enough! Do you tease her about other things than her eating? Maybe this was just the last straw?
Unless you are genuinely concerned and think that person has an eating disorder, never comment...+READ
This is a tough one because either (1) she has issues with food (even if she is ‘skinny,’ as you say) and she felt insecure and snapped, or (2) Two Meatballs, you are just jerky and teasing, and she’d had enough! Do you tease her about other things than her eating? Maybe this was just the last straw?
Unless you are genuinely concerned and think that person has an eating disorder, never comment on weight or eating habits. You never know what they go through.-COLLAPSE
I am about 107 lbs, and at all you can eat places, I put college boys to shame. That being said, the reason I am around 107 lbs is that I don't do that very often. I still can put away a lot, but it is usually veggies, salads and low calorie stuff.
I also work out on average 2 hours a day.
I don't mind when people comment on my ability.
I used to weigh 179, before I started working out...+READ
I am about 107 lbs, and at all you can eat places, I put college boys to shame. That being said, the reason I am around 107 lbs is that I don't do that very often. I still can put away a lot, but it is usually veggies, salads and low calorie stuff.
I also work out on average 2 hours a day.
I don't mind when people comment on my ability.
I used to weigh 179, before I started working out and eating properly. back then,I ate lots of garbage. But even then, I didn't mind the someone mentioning appreciatively, "Wow! you can really put it away!"
But some people have different sensitivities.-COLLAPSE
Really?
I've always been of a mind that it is rude to comment about how much anyone is or isn't eating regardless of gender.
Please remember that this is not a an issue of Food but an issue of Male vs. Female traits.
"But when a woman eats like a truck driver, men feel moved to comment. Why?" Because guys comment on everything. When we meet another guy who gets "easily offended", regardless of the subject, we think less of him. Rightly or wrongly, this is how it is.
However, this type of behaviour carries over to...+READ
Please remember that this is not a an issue of Food but an issue of Male vs. Female traits.
"But when a woman eats like a truck driver, men feel moved to comment. Why?" Because guys comment on everything. When we meet another guy who gets "easily offended", regardless of the subject, we think less of him. Rightly or wrongly, this is how it is.
However, this type of behaviour carries over to women. Men will sometimes forget their company and act naturally. He should remember that girls are different than guys and keep his mouth shut.
Ian Lewis-COLLAPSE
It is incredibly rude to comment about how much someone is or is not eating.
One- what REALLY makes someone feel they need to comment- what is someone implying?
Two- what response do you expect when you've just expressed amazement at how much/how little someone is or is not eating?
Do you expect no response at all?
Because many of the responses to this could be rude too. Some out of...+READ
It is incredibly rude to comment about how much someone is or is not eating.
One- what REALLY makes someone feel they need to comment- what is someone implying?
Two- what response do you expect when you've just expressed amazement at how much/how little someone is or is not eating?
Do you expect no response at all?
Because many of the responses to this could be rude too. Some out of anger, some because often how much someone is or isn't eating can be related to digestive and/or health issues which are none of your business and also rude to discuss at the table.
So, yeah, I think you need to think about what it is that is making you feel the need to comment on someone's eating habits- and then NOT comment.-COLLAPSE
I don't mind at all when someone makes a comment about my ability to eat a lot. I'm proud of the fact that I can enjoy food in large quantities and still manage to maintain a slim figure. Little does anyone know that I carefully watch what I eat at home so I can really treat myself eating out at restaurants. It's an attractive thing to be passionate about something, especially food! And I also...+READ
I don't mind at all when someone makes a comment about my ability to eat a lot. I'm proud of the fact that I can enjoy food in large quantities and still manage to maintain a slim figure. Little does anyone know that I carefully watch what I eat at home so I can really treat myself eating out at restaurants. It's an attractive thing to be passionate about something, especially food! And I also think guys tend to be impressed when a girl does something that isn't considered "girly". I wouldn't be offended if someone was impressed at the spiral I can throw.-COLLAPSE
I am acquainted with two fashion models who are both over 5'11" and weighs around 100 pounds. The thing is they are both blessed with such incredible metabolisms that they can out eat everyone at the table. While I hating eating with them beacuse I always ended up paying a larger share of the bill eating less than they do, I hate the snide comments of my friends purging even more.
As an average sized woman who often hears this comment, what I personally don't like about it is the implication that I'm going to throw it all up in five minutes, or that I'm somehow less feminine.
My mother is a very petite woman with a good appetite, and she's been hearing those sorts of comments her whole life: "how are you going to eat all that?" or "that's alot of food for a tiny lady!"...+READ
As an average sized woman who often hears this comment, what I personally don't like about it is the implication that I'm going to throw it all up in five minutes, or that I'm somehow less feminine.
My mother is a very petite woman with a good appetite, and she's been hearing those sorts of comments her whole life: "how are you going to eat all that?" or "that's alot of food for a tiny lady!" Her family used to call her "tapeworm."
As if women don't already have enough pressure around weight and food! These sorts of comments may be intended as compliments, but often come across as criticism (imagine someone saying that to you).
People forget that size is not the only factor in your capacity for food intake. Metabolism and physical activity are other important parts of the equation.-COLLAPSE
Food is a very personal thing to people and I've learned that it is important to let people deal with food as they please. As a woman recovering from binge eating disorder I would have been deeply offended because if I don't eat how I want to around people and only get a salad or nibble of something, that just means a binge at home later. Being satisfied the first time I eat helps a lot. I'm also...+READ
Food is a very personal thing to people and I've learned that it is important to let people deal with food as they please. As a woman recovering from binge eating disorder I would have been deeply offended because if I don't eat how I want to around people and only get a salad or nibble of something, that just means a binge at home later. Being satisfied the first time I eat helps a lot. I'm also in touch with many people with other eating disorders and know that a comment like that may not be welcome if they are trying to recover and be open to foods again. This doesn't just apply to women either.
Please, keep your comments about what is on my plate/ in my mouth to yourself.-COLLAPSE