Spicy Roasted Chickpeas
Picnic Recipes Galore
Corner-Store Party Food on the Fly
9 Chili Recipes, Bison to Vegan
How to Choose the Best Strawberries
Sausage Recipes of the Month
Dear Helena,
Last year I went to my brother’s place for Thanksgiving. He took care of the turkey and his guests supplied all the other dishes. There was way too much food, but my brother never asked if anyone wanted to take any of it home. I was annoyed, as I love turkey sandwiches. At Thanksgiving dinner, who should get the leftovers? And if the hosts don’t offer the leftovers, is it OK to ask for them?—Turkey Grabber
Dear Turkey Grabber,
Leftovers are part of the joy of Thanksgiving, and it is very wrong for one person to keep them all, even if he killed the turkey himself and got up at dawn to cook it. Everyone who wants to should take some food home. Especially if you split the cost or labor. If there isn’t enough for everybody, dish it out according to the Two Laws of Leftovers.
Feed the charity cases. Thanksgiving is a time for generosity, so give the leftovers to those who need them most, whether that’s your aging aunt who lives on canned soup or your lonely bachelor friend who doesn’t cook. If there are homeless people in your neighborhood, pack up the food nicely and offer it to them. First ask them if they want it, though, as it is patronizing to just dump it by their blanket.
Reward the deserving. If there are no obvious charity cases, then reward people according to how they contributed. If you peeled five pounds of potatoes, you deserve that extra pie. If you kept the kids amused or babysat an annoying relative, you get a share, too. But if you went into a turkey coma while other people did the dishes, you go home empty-handed.
So can you ask for leftovers if the host doesn’t offer them? No. At a cocktail party, on seeing leftover liquor, would you ask the host, “Can I take home the vodka that’s left in the bottle?” Asking for food that the host or another guest has made is like asking them to give you a gift. And asking for the remains of a dish that you brought is like asking for a gift back.
Dear Helena,
Every year, we tell Aunt Betty not to worry about bringing anything to Thanksgiving. And every year she brings her “famous” Spam stuffing (famous for being revolting). If your guests offer to bring something gross, is it OK to ask them not to?—Sick of Spam
Dear Sick of Spam,
Thanksgiving is not the time to be a fussy gourmet. Yes, the food matters, but friends and family are more important. Aunt Betty probably derives a deep satisfaction from feeling she is contributing. Why deprive her of this? If you just can’t stomach Spam, maybe you can make it into a game with your kids: Whoever eats the most gets out of doing the dishes. Or else get Aunt Betty drunk, and remove the Spam when she’s looking the other way. If she asks where it is, tell her you already devoured it. Just make sure that when you scrape it into the trash can, you bury it beneath the potato peels.
Have a Table Manners question? Email Helena.
I love packaging up a take home container for my guests. I now have adult step-kids that I never ever expected (Life throws you curb balls) After they took home all the tupeware I started stocking up on tin take out containers. I know my step daughter and her bf could use an extra few meals and I also see how readily my stepson and his wife accept a frozzen lasagna from the deep freeze. They need...+READ
I love packaging up a take home container for my guests. I now have adult step-kids that I never ever expected (Life throws you curb balls) After they took home all the tupeware I started stocking up on tin take out containers. I know my step daughter and her bf could use an extra few meals and I also see how readily my stepson and his wife accept a frozzen lasagna from the deep freeze. They need it and I have it, so GIVE-COLLAPSE
There is usually so much food prepared for our Thanksgiving celebrations that everyone, including the kids, get to leave with a generous take home container.
Hosting Thanksgiving dinner is a tremendous job. The host has earned the leftovers.
Sorry, some weird combination of keys (not including the Enter key) caused my comment to be entered mid-edit. The third sentence should begin with "The host is".
I agree that no one (besides the host) should expect leftovers. I'm not surprised that some hosts offer them, but I am surprised that some people expect the hosts to offer them. providing the venue, plates, silverware, glasses, toilet facilities, couch, lack of privacy, the majority of cleanup; they should get leftovers if they want them. If you want more of your own food, then don't take all of...+READ
I agree that no one (besides the host) should expect leftovers. I'm not surprised that some hosts offer them, but I am surprised that some people expect the hosts to offer them. providing the venue, plates, silverware, glasses, toilet facilities, couch, lack of privacy, the majority of cleanup; they should get leftovers if they want them. If you want more of your own food, then don't take all of it to dinner.-COLLAPSE
I don't agree. If the host wants to keep his turkey leftovers then he should be able to do so guilt free, just as everyone who brings a side is entitled to dole out their dish as they like or take the remains home. If you'd like thanksgiving leftovers you can host!
My MIL is coming over to roast the turkey and I am actually waking up really early to cook an extra one. We will be having among other guests a bachelor, a college student and my brother who despite not being a bachelor loves leftovers. Add on to that I'm pregnant and I figured why not just buy an extra small turkey so we have plenty to dish out!
When people want to take leftovers from me, I'm ecstatic - not only does it mean that they enjoyed the food (always a nice compliment), but it alleviates my guilt at having to throw it away a couple of days later. There's only so many turkey sandwiches and so much green bean casserole one can eat. I'm usually good for one or two more meals from the leftovers, and after that - I'm done with it....+READ
When people want to take leftovers from me, I'm ecstatic - not only does it mean that they enjoyed the food (always a nice compliment), but it alleviates my guilt at having to throw it away a couple of days later. There's only so many turkey sandwiches and so much green bean casserole one can eat. I'm usually good for one or two more meals from the leftovers, and after that - I'm done with it. But I also feel terrible wasting food. So, it's win-win when people want to take some home!-COLLAPSE
I always tell my guests ahead of time that if they want leftovers, bring some containers for me to fill. That way I don't have to go out and buy all sorts of Gladware or whatever, never to see it again, and my company gets their sandwiches with sides the next day. You just have to make sure you cook enough for everyone.
This is a complicated one. I think people should eat what they like when they are at someone's house, but never expect to take food home. If it's offered, fantastic, if it's not it's not so hard to make your own.
fayefood.com
The SPAM advice here is some of the worst I have ever heard. What kind of parent who abhors a product as unhealthy as SPAM would encourage their kids to shovel it in? Not to mention the fact that being deceptive and patronizing in this way is just as offensive as choosing not to eat it. What if Aunt Betty catches on? Will her embarassment be worth it? If you are going to congratulate yourself for...+READ
The SPAM advice here is some of the worst I have ever heard. What kind of parent who abhors a product as unhealthy as SPAM would encourage their kids to shovel it in? Not to mention the fact that being deceptive and patronizing in this way is just as offensive as choosing not to eat it. What if Aunt Betty catches on? Will her embarassment be worth it? If you are going to congratulate yourself for putting family before food, do the right thing- take a little bit, eat it, and get it over with.
As for the leftovers dilemma, my family has taken care of this by roasting an extra pan of turkey parts, as well as an extra pan of stuffing. It isn't quite the same as getting the leftowver meat from the hwole birdm but at least everyone gets something this way. I personally would not host a meal such as Thanksgiving without offering leftovers to my guests (assuming there is a bounty of food leftover). However, I cna also see how a host might consider themselves entitled to whatever food is left- especially if there isn't enough for everyone.-COLLAPSE
Why not just ask Aunt Betty to bring another specific item, like a pecan pie? It's a win-win situation; she gets to help out, and nobody has to eat spam stuffing!