Deal-Breaker Foods

Published on Wednesday, May 12, 2010, by Lessley Anderson / Edit Post

I once had a friend who swore that if he was dating a woman and saw the soundtrack to The Big Chill in her record collection, he would break up with her. Music snobs can be cruel. But what about food snobs? Are there certain food habits or dining experiences that would be romantic deal-breakers for those among us who have strong opinions about local/seasonal/sustainable/artisanal?

Chowhounds have a lot to say on this topic, in the "Dumped because of food choices" thread. There was the guy who advised his date to load up on free samples at Costco so he wouldn't have to buy her as much at dinner. Or the girl who pronounced Chablis "chaaa-bliss" in a fancy French place, to the embarrassment of her date. My favorite quote is from Babette_feasts:

"Dinner was, unfortunately, exactly as he described—pasta with a whole lot of canned seafood, then overcooked. I'd brought a bottle of white wine, so he pulled out some cheesy brass (?) goblets that made the wine taste horrible. But like I said, there were other things ... like the Xmas wrapping paper from his kid's presents still all over the floor in mid-January."

I recently suffered a pretty severe blow when I learned that my boyfriend of two years enjoys chicken on pizza. Chicken is not an appropriate topping for pizza. However, it wasn't a deal-breaker. What is, is: Splenda, hazelnut coffee, margarine, Diet Coke, and slimy compressed ham lunch meats with rounded edges. If my boyfriend brings any of that home, we're through.

A survey of friends and coworkers revealed that, for many self-professed food lovers, overt health consciousness is a major turnoff. Said one:

"We went to Wichcraft and he had the gall to order a kick-ass club sandwich sans bacon. It was partially the fact that anyone would omit bacon from anything where it was not only offered but pretty essential to the meaning of the food, but also partially the annoying tone of superiority he used when announcing to me that he intended to hold it. 'What are you gonna get? I'm goin' club sandwich, hold the bacon, of course.' He also purchased two of the largest bottles of water I have ever seen and refused to leave until we had both finished them fully."

Eating crappy food is a gimme deal-killer, but the opposite can be equally unappealing.

"Any guy who has a strong feeling about microgreens or insists on buying expensive wine when it's unnecessary," lists one of my coworkers. "I find gratuitous displays of wealth highly unattractive."

What's a bigger turn off?

Already voted? See results.

Image source: Flickr member Zamantha under Creative Commons

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POST A COMMENT |6 Comments

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  • I agree with MikeB3542... there has to be some sort of balance. I don't WANT to be with someone who has exactly the same taste as me in every aspect. yet, I do have to admit that, because of my partners' and my "cultural" differences (he was raised in the South, I was not) he finds certain foods very appealing that I find at best rather bland and at worst almost disgusting. And I know for a fact,...+READ

    I agree with MikeB3542... there has to be some sort of balance. I don't WANT to be with someone who has exactly the same taste as me in every aspect. yet, I do have to admit that, because of my partners' and my "cultural" differences (he was raised in the South, I was not) he finds certain foods very appealing that I find at best rather bland and at worst almost disgusting. And I know for a fact, he has zero interest in seasonal foods or fresh fish. However, for the most part we enjoy trying new things together and agree to disagree... even when we were dating.-COLLAPSE

  • Orchid, I like your sentiment on an intellectual level, but eating is one of the most social things people do. My guess is that if a friend tells you that they went on a date with someone, the among the first questions you will have will be what restaurant did you go to/what did you order/was it good?

    In a committed relationship, you are probably sharing two or three meals a day -- sharing...+READ

    Orchid, I like your sentiment on an intellectual level, but eating is one of the most social things people do. My guess is that if a friend tells you that they went on a date with someone, the among the first questions you will have will be what restaurant did you go to/what did you order/was it good?

    In a committed relationship, you are probably sharing two or three meals a day -- sharing food that one or the other cooked, and usually not ordering from a restaurant. Some food compromises are trivial, others will wear away at a person.

    The flavors and smells of food work on the unconscious level. If your partner relishes food that maybe made you barf when you were little, or prepares food just like a favorite relative, this will make a difference in whether you want to flee or pursue.

    I liked Janetto's post. You give, you take -- knowing that you're partner likes relish in his tuna salad are the little mundane details that put together make real intimacy and romance (not the Hollywood sort.)-COLLAPSE

  • Dismissing people for trivial preferences reduces their value to very little. Let's hope that one day those who abandon friends or potential mates based on food choices one day have the favor returned in kind for something equally trivial so that they might develop empathy and maturity.

    Seriously, this sort of judging of people is indefensible, and shows a profound lack of humanistic thinking....+READ

    Dismissing people for trivial preferences reduces their value to very little. Let's hope that one day those who abandon friends or potential mates based on food choices one day have the favor returned in kind for something equally trivial so that they might develop empathy and maturity.

    Seriously, this sort of judging of people is indefensible, and shows a profound lack of humanistic thinking. Is this what the world comes to? We're so in love with what we see in the mirror that we cannot accept anyone who does not closely resemble ourselves.-COLLAPSE

  • Only those with the Seinfeldian mentality will empathize with the rigorous upholding of nit-picky deal breakers. I for one cannot stand Doritos, Diet Coke, or Buffalo Wild Wings (or, come to think of it, buffalo wings altogether—but there's something seriously debauched about that specific place).

    Ordering a sandwich that comes with bacon and loudly announcing your intention to hold the bacon...+READ

    Only those with the Seinfeldian mentality will empathize with the rigorous upholding of nit-picky deal breakers. I for one cannot stand Doritos, Diet Coke, or Buffalo Wild Wings (or, come to think of it, buffalo wings altogether—but there's something seriously debauched about that specific place).

    Ordering a sandwich that comes with bacon and loudly announcing your intention to hold the bacon isn't merely a food faux pas, but an obnoxious social flop. I can almost imagine the glistening sheen of smugness on the man's face. It's like eating your peas with a fork, one at a time.

    One cannot stand for such flagrant barbarisms.-COLLAPSE

  • Janetto, you missed the point. You've been married for 34 years, Janetto. We're talking about people like me who are obsessed with food and still dating. I've had someone break up with me because I wasn't swooning over them the way I was swooning over the pollo en mole negro at my favorite Mexican restaurant. I maintain to this day that the breakup was COMPLETELY not my fault... they didn't...+READ

    Janetto, you missed the point. You've been married for 34 years, Janetto. We're talking about people like me who are obsessed with food and still dating. I've had someone break up with me because I wasn't swooning over them the way I was swooning over the pollo en mole negro at my favorite Mexican restaurant. I maintain to this day that the breakup was COMPLETELY not my fault... they didn't bother to try the mole.-COLLAPSE

  • Hm, you don't sound very Zen-like. What my husband eats is none of my business, just like what I choose to eat is none of his. We have always compromised over our 34 years of marriage. He likes relish in his tuna and I don't, so we halve the tuna and make our own. Perhaps you're just low on blog subjects and/or are just trying to be funny. Judging from the non-responses, this blog is going over...+READ

    Hm, you don't sound very Zen-like. What my husband eats is none of my business, just like what I choose to eat is none of his. We have always compromised over our 34 years of marriage. He likes relish in his tuna and I don't, so we halve the tuna and make our own. Perhaps you're just low on blog subjects and/or are just trying to be funny. Judging from the non-responses, this blog is going over like a lead balloon. Not getting bacon is a good thing. Tell him Porky thanks him.-COLLAPSE