A Trip to FHM’s Cathouse

Much to the relief of lazy food commentators everywhere, Iron Chef America gladiator and cookbook authoress Cat Cora made her softcore pictorial debut in September’s edition of FHM.

Cora’s ever-so-slightly cheesecake photo series recalls Rachel Ray’s infamous appearance in the same magazine. (You can view Ray’s slightly racier pictorial, lovingly preserved in all its spoon-licking glory, right over here.)

The brief but frantic firestorm of comment we can expect these pictures to stir up hasn’t yet descended upon the Web, but we can probably expect it to break down into the following schools of thought:

Women’s Lib (Old-School): This photo spread is degrading to Cat Cora and career women everywhere. By displaying a generous helping of her tater-tots, she has cheapened her otherwise formidable professional achievements.

Women’s Lib (New-School): This photo spread is empowering to Cat Cora and career women everywhere. By displaying a generous helping of her tater-tots, she has enhanced her otherwise formidable professional achievements with grrrl power.

Judgmental male, positive: Wow, she is hawt. And a lesbian! Damn…I’ll be in my trailer. [Actual quote]

Judgmental male, negative: Cat Cora is really forcing it in her FHM pictorial; does not compare with the original Rachel Ray photo shoot…. [Another actual quote]

In the eyes of this humble commentator, the photos (which are no steamier than a typical visit to southern California) aren’t the concern here. The problem is the recipes. They’re too sophisticated for the mouth-breathing frat rats they’re clearly concocted for, yet too horrible seeming for anyone over the age of 20 to consider interacting with.

Bacon-wrapped grilled spam fillet? Why not just skip the Spam entirely? And did you seriously put a twist of orange on top of that thing?

Good lord, woman; have you no sense of decency?