Girly Drinks, and the Girly-Men Who Love Them

Miami news station Local 10, apparently hoping to lighten up a front page that generally includes murders, cop shootings, armed robberies, and high-speed chases, presents “10 Drinks Men Should Never Order.”

A bogus premise? You be the judge. The suspects include blended drinks, Cosmopolitans, shots or drinks that feature whipped cream as a garnish, fruity malt “alcopops,” and, of course, white Zinfandel.

So, you ask, what’s the buzz over at Fark.com, the closest thing to an authentic vox populi since plebes gathered in the Forum to swap gossip?

Poster lilplatinum weighs in with the inverse concept:

It would be a shorter list if it was drinks men should only order:

Martinis (Cold Gin or Vodka with some vermouth and a twist—none of this biatch drink in a martini glass being called a martini shiat)

Scotch

Beer

Mugato suggests the obvious Big Lebowski exception: “Unless you’re The Dude and then you can order a white Russian.”

And ArbitraryConstant writes the most cuttingly concise of the comments:

This is what happens when a columnist is browsing iStockPhoto instead of working when his deadline is coming up.

Couldn’t have written it better myself. People who write top ten drinks lists need to get it in gear and do some real work.