Rachael’s Husband Can’t Swallow Story

Oh poor, poor Ray-Ray. As you’ve no doubt seen emblazoned across The National Enquirer if you’ve been to the grocery store this week, a very convincingly detailed report has it that her new hubby, John Cusimano, has been paying another woman for kinky trysts for five years. According to The Enquirer, Cusimano regularly pays a women named Jeannine Walz up to $500 for sessions in which she spits in and rubs her feet on his face. Cusimano has denied it, of course, but there’s a pic of Walz and him together, so it doesn’t look good.

Internet snarks are buzzing over the report, to be sure. “Unfortunately, it looks like it’s going to take more than some E.V.O.O. to solve this problem,” says one wag at recipe-related blog CopyKat Chat. Anonymous commenters at gossip blog Janet Charlton’s Hollywood theorize that Ray’s cool with her husband’s fetish and participates in it. If that’s not true, maybe it should be. After all, if Cusimano has a thing for feet, what’s wrong with Ray’s size 8s?