This Just In: Bourdain Hates the Food Network

Published on Monday, April 16, 2007, by Stephanie365 / Edit Post

I must admit, I couldn’t bring myself to tune into last night’s first-ever Food Network Awards. (If you must know, I was way into the double-feature premiere of Tim Minear’s new show Drive, and, my loathing for Nathan Fillion aside, that was some damn good TV.) And, after reading Anthony Bourdain’s awkwardly ellipsed but predictably angry rant on Michael Ruhlman’s blog, I’m convinced I made the right decision.

Check out the Bourdain-y carnage:

The overmuscled fuckwit from DINNER SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT delivered the best line: something like ‘This is the greatest night ever!’ If that was his greatest night ever, I suspect he would say the same thing while being publicly butt-slammed by the San Diego Chicken.

And:

Did the network, upon realizing (as they surely did) that the whole thing was a hideous, stultifyingly boring cluster fuck—and a public slap to their talent—did they consider maybe having the good taste to just bury the whole thing in archives like a rotten bone?

Earlier in the diatribe, Bourdain even makes an odd-for-him admission that rather than being moved to engage in his usual castigation of Rachael Ray, her appearance at the Food Network Awards actually moved him to sympathy (who knew Bourdain even had that emotion in him?):

If nothing else, Rachael’s BIG now. Network talk show— doing- well- in- ratings- Big. Own magazine Big. Friend-of-Oprah Big. So, how must it have felt for her to stand up there in front of what appeared to be a halfway empty room of stunned, near comatose trout and feign enthusiasm while presenting the award for ‘Best Appliance’?

It’s becoming more and more clear that Anthony Bourdain is the food world’s Bill O’Reilly. Let’s give him a show called Bourdain’s Disdain and watch him scream, pound a cutting board, and rip Wolfgang Puck a bright-and-shiny new one for deciding not to serve foie gras in his restaurants any longer.

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  • I like a previous poster also wonder why no Asian show. The blue ginger guy had a good show with the east-west fusion thing. He would do a thai main course with a western salad and then recommend a french wine.

    I would love a down home cajun type show to counteract emeril's creole bombast.

    What happened to that one ethnic show they had? There were 2 guys who did eastern European one is an...+READ

    I like a previous poster also wonder why no Asian show. The blue ginger guy had a good show with the east-west fusion thing. He would do a thai main course with a western salad and then recommend a french wine.

    I would love a down home cajun type show to counteract emeril's creole bombast.

    What happened to that one ethnic show they had? There were 2 guys who did eastern European one is an iron chef now and the other is bobby flay's pastry guy. They were great! And the 2 latino guys were also terrific.

    Where is the ethnic cooking on this damn network?-COLLAPSE

  • What kills me about the food network is that it as gotten less sophisticated and offers a more dumbed down product. Why? I would think after over 15 years we would have a more sophisticated audience wanting something more.

    Now there is a whole generation that grew up watching these shows but where do they turn? We already know how to cook we don't need how to fucking boil water!

  • I agree about the food network- really a bunch of idiots on display. Why do we need to see people whip cream on each and every show?? The Paula comment is right on the nose, she used to be very enjoyable to watch and now she is just very irritating. I'm also sick of seeing Giada's boobs. Another thing, can't there be an Asian show on the blasted network?

    I will always love Nigella, her book How...+READ

    I agree about the food network- really a bunch of idiots on display. Why do we need to see people whip cream on each and every show?? The Paula comment is right on the nose, she used to be very enjoyable to watch and now she is just very irritating. I'm also sick of seeing Giada's boobs. Another thing, can't there be an Asian show on the blasted network?

    I will always love Nigella, her book How to Eat is one the best books I have. She is such an excellent and honest writer.-COLLAPSE

  • I'm not a big fan of Bourdains, but I love the fact that he's not a cookie cutter Foodnetwork type.

    I just saw the ad for Amy's new show, the Next Food Network Star was so staged it's pathetic!
    I find it so hard to believe background checks weren't done before hand. The judges LOVED Amy. Happy wife and mom...so family. They were determined to get her back after she was voted off. I think Rory...+READ

    I'm not a big fan of Bourdains, but I love the fact that he's not a cookie cutter Foodnetwork type.

    I just saw the ad for Amy's new show, the Next Food Network Star was so staged it's pathetic!
    I find it so hard to believe background checks weren't done before hand. The judges LOVED Amy. Happy wife and mom...so family. They were determined to get her back after she was voted off. I think Rory should have won.
    Am I the only person who thinks the foodnetwork is not anywhere near as good as it was about 5 years ago?? Paula Dean used to be great to watch, now her accent is suddenly more southern, and she's (and her two sons) as obnoxious as Rachael Ray!
    They used to have a wide variety of shows on, and now Sat and Sun are ridiculous with the "Challenges" and they are constant repeats. Did anybody watch Nigella Lawsons show when it was on Style Network? It was GREAT. Now they crammed 2 of her shows into 1. The best part if her show is how she lingers and talks of the food, but that's all been cut out so she can be cookie cutter lik PD and RR.
    So sad, because Foodnetwork used to be great. Now it's for the Oprah womens club.-COLLAPSE

  • Bourdain is a drugged out, drunken washed up sycophant who thinks it is cool to be an asshole. Where are your restraurants, you washed up loser.

  • The FoodNetwork is a victim of its own success. That is, we all tended to watch it and some of us even learned to either cook to it or perfected our already fledgling skills. Now, however, that we've all become sophisticated 'chuchum', like adolescents, we rale against those that taught us. For my money it would be far more inventive if we were to offer our former teachers some constructive...+READ

    The FoodNetwork is a victim of its own success. That is, we all tended to watch it and some of us even learned to either cook to it or perfected our already fledgling skills. Now, however, that we've all become sophisticated 'chuchum', like adolescents, we rale against those that taught us. For my money it would be far more inventive if we were to offer our former teachers some constructive criticism along with some fresh, new ideas on how they might improve their programming and win us back. As for Anthony Bourdain - he is what he is - foul mouthed. It's much easier to be inebriated, sarcastic, and speak in four syllable words than it is to for him to be decent and sophisticated. I prefer sophisticated. Just my humble opinion.-COLLAPSE

  • I forgot to mention- the 'overmuscled fuckwit" reference nearly made ME shoot iced green tea out my nose, because I got a sudden picture in my mind of a chihuahua madly barking at a mastiff- you know, barking so hard it actually jumps off the ground a little with every bark...

  • Will, I do too, usually, but criminy, you'd think a self-described cheese-eating froggy would at least TRY to have a little more tolerance for his fellow white people, and that's another thing about him. He's almost (I said almost, now) humble when he's in Mexico or Central or South America, or India or Asia, but get him around the wrong white people and he goes off like Louis Farrakhan on crack....+READ

    Will, I do too, usually, but criminy, you'd think a self-described cheese-eating froggy would at least TRY to have a little more tolerance for his fellow white people, and that's another thing about him. He's almost (I said almost, now) humble when he's in Mexico or Central or South America, or India or Asia, but get him around the wrong white people and he goes off like Louis Farrakhan on crack. And it REALLY seems to cheese him off if the white people he hates have money, it just seems to send him off in a Beavis-and-Butt-Head rant every time. He just doesn't sound so smart when he's being that way, ya know? Not usually, anyway. JMHO.-COLLAPSE

  • Actually, I just about blew coffee out my nose when I read that...but then I have a broad tolerance for rude talk when it's funny, and I almost always find Tony funny. And almost always right on the money.

  • I don't admire Bourdain for his vile manners, which what he has. Sure, he's entitled to his opinions, but you'd think he'd have the sense to just talk about these people he scorns so much behind their backs. It may be fun to read, but I cringe when I think of his victims reading what he wrote about them. It just seems unnecessarily cruel.
    That said, I like most of his writing and I enjoy his...+READ

    I don't admire Bourdain for his vile manners, which what he has. Sure, he's entitled to his opinions, but you'd think he'd have the sense to just talk about these people he scorns so much behind their backs. It may be fun to read, but I cringe when I think of his victims reading what he wrote about them. It just seems unnecessarily cruel.
    That said, I like most of his writing and I enjoy his Travel network show. Maybe he just threw that bit in about Rachael to keep all his balls in the air- so to speak. That was a juggling reference, honest.
    If you think about it, he's more experienced than nearly anybody on Food Network in the food/restaurant business, maybe he's embarrassed to have been part of it. But when he lets his nasty disposition carry him away and starts making references to wishing someone would be "butt-slammed by the San Diego Chicken" he ends up sounding like a moronic adolescent. Just another shitfaced-drunk rant. How disappointing.-COLLAPSE

  • What ever happened to Sara Molton?

    Maybe if she had a catchy signature saying, like: "Bam!", or "Yum-eee!" they would have thought her more marketable, or showed some cleavage, or stretched her smile into a deathmask-like ricktus... but simply being an attractive, personable, talented Chef who cooks real food that real people can cook at home without expensive equipment?... well, which corporate...+READ

    What ever happened to Sara Molton?

    Maybe if she had a catchy signature saying, like: "Bam!", or "Yum-eee!" they would have thought her more marketable, or showed some cleavage, or stretched her smile into a deathmask-like ricktus... but simply being an attractive, personable, talented Chef who cooks real food that real people can cook at home without expensive equipment?... well, which corporate suits would think that anyone would want that when they can watch Bobby Flay bully someone, or Paula Deen deep fry butter, or Jim O'Connor act stupid? I can imagine some Food Network VPs getting fired for not coming up with "Hell's Kitchen" before Fox got it. Just more of the dumbing down of America. They must despise their audience to cancell someone like Sara Molton & give us another "road trip" with Paula Deen's sons. (Hey! We ain't talented, or nothin' like that... but our Momma's on TV, so we're gonna be, too! Yee haw. y'all!"-COLLAPSE

  • What ever happened to Sara Molton? She was one of the few on TFN that I could stomach. Genuinely nice and she could cook - novel idea!

  • He set up the show on Food Network with a swell bunch of people, then the swell people got canned and the current management came in and started insisting that the show was too "challenging" and "difficult" and lacking "viewer appeal." That's Bourdain's story, essentially, and I believe him. Parting was mutually agreed upon - they wanted a grinning bobblehead, not some street-food-guzzling...+READ

    He set up the show on Food Network with a swell bunch of people, then the swell people got canned and the current management came in and started insisting that the show was too "challenging" and "difficult" and lacking "viewer appeal." That's Bourdain's story, essentially, and I believe him. Parting was mutually agreed upon - they wanted a grinning bobblehead, not some street-food-guzzling beer-swilling sarcastic guy with ashtray breath and an aversion to happy talk.-COLLAPSE

  • If Bourdain hates the Food Network so, why did he agree to a show with them? How many books did he sell, thanks to thata show?

    He's become a celebrity for railing against "the system" and claiming he's a counter-culture type when really, he's just as part of the machine as Rachael Ray.

  • yes, bordain is sensational...so is the food network, at least he's a counterbalance, and he is entertaining (imho). as for the sad state of the food network, I've almost given up. I don't want to see semi-homemade or quick foods. I want to see inspiring, passionate cooking with fresh ingredients. the truth is though, food is entertainment now...foodie culture has grown. the food network had to...+READ

    yes, bordain is sensational...so is the food network, at least he's a counterbalance, and he is entertaining (imho). as for the sad state of the food network, I've almost given up. I don't want to see semi-homemade or quick foods. I want to see inspiring, passionate cooking with fresh ingredients. the truth is though, food is entertainment now...foodie culture has grown. the food network had to expand and this is how they did it.

    I think "no reservations" is a great show that ties in food, culture, and people. and it's far more interesting with AB than it would be if it were hosted by mark sommers or rachel ray. a final rave for "no reservations"...kudos for taking us off the beaten path-COLLAPSE

  • advisor_Girl: Well said! What's worse is that he's an even bigger jerk in person than he is on television. The first time I met him, we brought out a sampler of several salmon & herring appetizers from our Chef. As we began to tell him & his four managers what was on the plate, he picked up a piece of herring with his fingers, said:"Look! The little fishie is swimming upstream to spawn!", and...+READ

    advisor_Girl: Well said! What's worse is that he's an even bigger jerk in person than he is on television. The first time I met him, we brought out a sampler of several salmon & herring appetizers from our Chef. As we began to tell him & his four managers what was on the plate, he picked up a piece of herring with his fingers, said:"Look! The little fishie is swimming upstream to spawn!", and tossed the herring slice high into the air, letting it land on the floor. This in a restaurant with 3 stars, where he was a guest. Other runins have been true to form. There may be a bigger a__hole among New York City chefs, but I haven't met one.-COLLAPSE

  • Tony Bourdain = Bill O'Reilly? No way! O'Reilly is a compulsive liar and bully. Show me where Tony has made up the truth, even once. You may not agree with him or with his take on something (and I'm four square in his corner on the pathetic self-congratulatory mess that was the Food Channel Awards), but he tells the truth. O'Reilly couldn't sharpen his paring knife.

    I've shared a few drinks,...+READ

    Tony Bourdain = Bill O'Reilly? No way! O'Reilly is a compulsive liar and bully. Show me where Tony has made up the truth, even once. You may not agree with him or with his take on something (and I'm four square in his corner on the pathetic self-congratulatory mess that was the Food Channel Awards), but he tells the truth. O'Reilly couldn't sharpen his paring knife.

    I've shared a few drinks, laughs and great stories with Tony Bourdain, but I'd rather be trapped in an elevator with Ossama binLaden than with Bobby Flay, or have a spinal tap rather than sitting next to that know-nothing Jim O'Connor.-COLLAPSE

  • Except for Icelandic barbershop quartets. He's really rude about those. He was a whole lot more polite about the fermented shark...

  • Anthony Bourdain is the last of the true, candid, blunt, open, inprovincial chef-authors out there. I respect him dearly for his bitter humor and honesty.

    Food Network sold out awhile ago and I think Bourdain is better suited for the Travel Channel anyways. If you haven't read his books "Kitchen Confidential" and "Nasty Bits," you're in for a treat. He's very descriptive about everything,...+READ

    Anthony Bourdain is the last of the true, candid, blunt, open, inprovincial chef-authors out there. I respect him dearly for his bitter humor and honesty.

    Food Network sold out awhile ago and I think Bourdain is better suited for the Travel Channel anyways. If you haven't read his books "Kitchen Confidential" and "Nasty Bits," you're in for a treat. He's very descriptive about everything, something that most chefs cannot do. (ie. Rachel Ray: "It's so warm and cinnamony")

    And to compare O'Reily to to Bourdain is to compare the Soc's to the Greasers. O'Reily is a pompous, conservative, narrow-minded know-it-all whereas Bourdain is an open-minded, culture-respecting, trekker.-COLLAPSE

  • I think it Giada by a hair.

  • OMG the Red Carpet photos from the Award show are hilarious. Best Cleavage award: a tie with Giada and Nigella.

  • If you want to see a truly BAD show, watch Bourdain's show on the Travel Network. Complete arrogance on display.

  • There are lots of things me'n'Tony disagree about, ranging from smoking to garlic presses to LA food, but he's a damn good writer when he wants to be, and a lot more fun in person than he is on TV. I fail to see any signs of his sucking up to anybody in these comments, nor does it look to me like any mindless rant - just honest anger at TFN's prostitution of what used to be a channel for bringing...+READ

    There are lots of things me'n'Tony disagree about, ranging from smoking to garlic presses to LA food, but he's a damn good writer when he wants to be, and a lot more fun in person than he is on TV. I fail to see any signs of his sucking up to anybody in these comments, nor does it look to me like any mindless rant - just honest anger at TFN's prostitution of what used to be a channel for bringing good cooking and a love of good food to the TV-watching masses. On that we emphatically agree.-COLLAPSE

  • Hey Bourdain's OK on occasion -and- when you are in the right mood to watch him -- Let's have him come to Kansas City and do a program -- That will show him!

  • Bobby Flay's Throwdown cracks me up.

    He assembles a crack team of professional chefs to drive out with a huge camera crew to bust up some poor Long Island lady's backyard cookout to prove he can make a better hamburger than she does. All because she invented a few riffs on a burger and won some Betty Crocker Cook-Off?!

    God - Bobby - I should hope you and the assistant acolyte chefs can...+READ

    Bobby Flay's Throwdown cracks me up.

    He assembles a crack team of professional chefs to drive out with a huge camera crew to bust up some poor Long Island lady's backyard cookout to prove he can make a better hamburger than she does. All because she invented a few riffs on a burger and won some Betty Crocker Cook-Off?!

    God - Bobby - I should hope you and the assistant acolyte chefs can contrive a decent hamburger. "IN YOUR FACE little Long Islander Lady!" Why not do a full Pro Wrestling Body Slam Pile Driver for her thinking she could cook!? Knock out her teeth!

    Then he goes out to make a gumbo using giant lavish lobsters and a crew of professional assistant chefs to shame some poor local Cajun guy who is famous in the Bayou for his cooking... "Damn you Local Hero! I have dozens of lobsters and saffron just in from Spain and a film crew! Back to the bog with you - I'm Bobby Flay!"

    Peeshwank.

    Yes Bobby - there are CHEFS, and there are COOKS and there are TV personalities... Sometimes I read a newspaper article out loud at the kitchen table but I'm not going to invite Katie Couric over for a "throwdown..."

    It's not a celebration of local cuisine - it's Bobby once again shouting "Mine's Bigger!" into the camera. You win Bobby - you win! Show everyone your mighty andoiuille and then go Étouffée yourself in your million dollar restaurant kitchen and cook for your customers...

    I still haven't forgiven him for standing on the cutting board on Iron Chef.

    A La Cuisine!

    AG-COLLAPSE

  • The Food Network hasn't been good for many years. They need to stop airing Rachel "I've made milliions and have no talent whatsoever" Ray (can she just disappear already?), Emeril "I'll whore myself out to whoever pays me the most including Crest" Lagasse and Bobby "will ya get over yourself," Flay every other freaking hour. There are so many great cooking show/food related show ideas out there...+READ

    The Food Network hasn't been good for many years. They need to stop airing Rachel "I've made milliions and have no talent whatsoever" Ray (can she just disappear already?), Emeril "I'll whore myself out to whoever pays me the most including Crest" Lagasse and Bobby "will ya get over yourself," Flay every other freaking hour. There are so many great cooking show/food related show ideas out there -- it's a damn shame the Food Network can't make more of an effort to at least consider them. Eeesh.-COLLAPSE

  • In a lot of ways, you guys are right--Bourdain does a lot of cursing the darkness and not enough lighting the candle. On the other hand, wrong is wrong. Stupid is still stupid. I admire that he doesn't let up on the morons of the industry.

  • In a lot of ways, you guys are right--Bourdain does a lot of cursing the darkness and not enough lighting the candle. On the other hand, wrong is wrong. Stupid is still stupid. I admire that he doesn't let up on the morons of the industry.

  • The saddest thing is I heard they Julia Child's name into that train wreck. If I was family I'd sue their money grubbing buts.

  • Bordain is one of the last chefs on video outside of public TV that has not sold their soul to the mind numbing world of what TV executives think middle America wants as entertainment. I could give a crap how good he writes... it is called a blog.

    It is actually very interesting watch The food Network go down that same path to TV hell as the once groundbreaking MTV.

    Time to get my media...+READ

    Bordain is one of the last chefs on video outside of public TV that has not sold their soul to the mind numbing world of what TV executives think middle America wants as entertainment. I could give a crap how good he writes... it is called a blog.

    It is actually very interesting watch The food Network go down that same path to TV hell as the once groundbreaking MTV.

    Time to get my media food fix from podcasts... forget TV.-COLLAPSE

  • I have to agree with tokyorosa. He practically trashed Lagasse and TV chefs in "confidential"... then he went and became one.

  • "And he can write"? Are you kidding me? One glance at all the dots and dashes sprinkled in his post, and I thought I'd stumbled upon an online Morse code tutorial. Memo to AB: blue ain't edgy, it's just lazy.

  • You gotta love the fact that he does talk shit about the people who got him his start. I think the fact that even though he does not like some of these people and he still sympathizes with the fact that they have to come up with annoying cach phrases or give out the award for "best appliance" says alot about him . I also think the Food networks new tag line "way more than cooking" says it all....+READ

    You gotta love the fact that he does talk shit about the people who got him his start. I think the fact that even though he does not like some of these people and he still sympathizes with the fact that they have to come up with annoying cach phrases or give out the award for "best appliance" says alot about him . I also think the Food networks new tag line "way more than cooking" says it all. Maybe they'll do what MTV did and have FN2........ channel with shows about cooking.-COLLAPSE

  • Bordain stopped being cool once he got on TV.

  • I'm so over Bourdain. As over him as I am the FN. His stuff is getting to sound a bit sour grapish. I mean, he's giving props to Rachel Ray because she's a BIG star? How is that not kissing ass?

  • I agree with NYchowcook...Don't lump him into the same dimwitted (imho) universe as Bill O'Reilly. atleast aim for someone in the vein of Keith Olbermann.

  • Bourdain being Bourdain, that's all. And we love him for it. He was way to edgy for Flay & Co. Most of TFN is getting like bad 70's Rock: Do I really need to hear this yet again. Bourdain kept it fresh but rubbed the wrong ribs so to speak....His exposure is pretty nil these days which is what happens to all considerable talent.

    I think he's more Stern than O'Reilly but hey its YOUR blog.

  • Oh come on. he's no Bill O'Reilly. He's funny. He's adventurous and open minded. And he can write.