Little Ray of Loudness

While the show has been met with rave and not-so-rave reviews, Rachael Ray debuted with “the highest ratings for a daytime show since Dr. Phil in 2002,” and even Martha Stewart is worried.

Reportedly, some staffers from the Queen of Quiches’ camp tried to secretly infiltrate the show using aliases but were thwarted by an eagle-eyed security guard who also works on Martha’s show. Now, do we really think the Duchess of Doughnuts seriously felt the need to do some recon when she could just watch the show herself? Maybe those staffers were wondering if a better life on another show existed in Rachael Ray’s loud, loud world.

Speaking of loud, that is the primary impression I took away from Rachael’s new show. Seriously, I’m convinced she needs to mainline Ricola in order to avoid completely losing her voice after the first 30 minutes. Other impressions I got? Well, the pre-credits sequence had Ray Ray laughing manically in the exact same way two different times. It was rather creepy, but by the third show, they had removed one of the laughs. The unfortunate thing is that whenever I hear the sole guffaw, I still hear the other one IN MY HEAD.

In all seriousness, as long as I’ve railed against Rachael Ray in my living room, online, and to my mother-in-law, I can’t believe I’ve possibly, maybe become addicted to her new talk show. It’s not so much that I want to pick up tips for shoe shopping, or watch her play “big sister” to her audience members and cure them of what scares them by jumping out of planes or whathaveyou, I think it’s more that I want to see just how crazy she gets. And while Rachael Ray doesn’t commit the food atrocities that regularly drag Sandra Lee’s semi-homemade ass in front of the Television Without Pity Tribunal, I’m still not that into her food ideas.