Restaurants for Fat People

Published on Tuesday, December 6, 2011, by Rebecca Flint Marx / Edit Post

Given that the world is already home to restaurants designed for populations as diverse as Ren Faire fanatics, masochists, sports addicts, and scat aficionados, perhaps it’s also got enough room to accommodate a restaurant for fat people.

Or at least that’s what Josh Ozersky is proposing. In the latest issue of Gastronomica [link unavailable, since the magazine doesn’t publish articles online], the Time columnist and enthusiastic gout victim argues that fat people should have their own restaurant, one designed from the “point of view of fat people—something like what Temple Grandin did for beef cows, but further up the food chain.”

So what would a Fat Person Restaurant look like? No narrow, hard-backed chairs. Think instead of “a padded La-Z-Boy … with rests for bulky broad arms and plenty of lumbar support”; a thermostat set at 55 degrees Fahrenheit, “too cold for thin people” and designed to maintain the “constant refrigeration” fat people need “to keep going”; servers who are “fat in a non-threatening way”; kidney-shaped tables designed for solo dining, as “dining here is a solitary and celibate experience, in which both sexes are protected from even a hint of having to socialize”; dim lights; no mirrors; and a menu replete with animal fat, layer cakes, and starch.

Given his own admitted girth, Ozersky pretty much has a free pass to write such darkly humorous, self-loathing material—imagine what would happen if, say, Kelly Choi or Dana Cowin penned an essay describing the “swollen, unhealthy bodies” of fat people, “working hard just to pointlessly stay alive,” or the “sad eyes and ravenous maw” of a portly diner. Quel scandale. Still, this will no doubt stick in more than one craw like a too-hastily digested short rib—even though one could argue that the Heart Attack Grill beat Ozersky to the punch long ago.

Image source: Eater image from Shutterstock

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  • I hate to bring it up, but Blair River, the 29 year old Heart Attack Grill spokesman that weighed 570 pounds, the pleasant, self-deprecating guy? Passed away from flu symptoms, though his weight seems to have played a role in his demise.
    http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2011/03/heart-attack-grill-spokseman-blair-river-dead-at-29.html

  • Gotta agree with the Golden Corral. You'll find the best grazing techniques there!

  • When I read this article, I immediately thought of Claim Jumper. I'm with JK Grence..... Claim Jumper is the place for the double-wides. The portions are at least double what you get in other restaurants, and so are the patrons.

  • It already exists: Claim Jumper. I'm plenty overweight at 250 pounds; I went into a Claim Jumper once and had never felt so skinny by comparison in all my life.

  • The worst is fat people eating on an airplane. OMG.

  • I dunno. Part of the Fat Experience is consuming fast food alone in your dimly-lit apartment. Anyone who has done a McDonald's/BK drive-by combo (McD's for the fries and shake, BK for a Whopper and onion rings) knows what I'm talkin' about. To "upscale" this experience is just exploitation IMO.

  • "I thought fat people had a sense of humor"

    Why would you think weight makes a difference? It's like saying "I thought thin people were bitter and humorless. Why's that scrawny guy making a joke and laughing?"

  • Why can't you STAND "watching fat people eat!"? That is a seriously psychological phobia, IMO. Do they not deserve to eat for the next 6+ months?

  • If you find prejudice funny, that's about you, not about fat people. I invite people to consider celebrating weight diversity and adopting the Health At Every Size® approach.

  • Being a member of a persecuted group does not give you license to join the abuse! Reinforcing ugly stereotypes is never funny, even if it is wrapped in the cloak of "self effacing humor". If a Hispanic Person or Woman wrote about creating a restaurant that catered to their group in such a derogatory fashion, Chowhound would never have elevated it in an article.

    Obesity is a truly critical...+READ

    Being a member of a persecuted group does not give you license to join the abuse! Reinforcing ugly stereotypes is never funny, even if it is wrapped in the cloak of "self effacing humor". If a Hispanic Person or Woman wrote about creating a restaurant that catered to their group in such a derogatory fashion, Chowhound would never have elevated it in an article.

    Obesity is a truly critical issue for America and it is getting worse, but not for the reasons people like Josh Ozersky like to blame. The more we design our communities around suburban concepts that require long commutes to work and the more American industry focuses on service based businesses that require desk workers over physical labor, the fatter we will all get. Americans spend more time getting to and from work each day and more time sitting at a desk than they ever have in history. Since the amount of time in a day is finite and working at a desk all day is equally as exhausting as working at an active job, the result is an equally tired worker at the end of the day that happens to have burned several hundred less calories, has even less time to burn off those calories due to the commute, but is still as hungry due to our outdated mammalian wiring that presumes feast or famine. Of course 60% of American are overweight. While our portion size and processed food quality also are to blame, systemic inactivity and the erosion of free time is what is killing America, not greed and laziness. Everyone wants to paint a terrible picture of Obese people as having some sort of more significant personal flaws that condemned them to their fate and relieves the rest of us of the fear of one day joining their ranks and frees us of the guilt of ridiculing them. However, the reality is that society did not suddenly over 2 to 3 generations get twice as full of lazy / greedy people than it has had over the past several hundred years, so blaming the huge increases in Obesity on Obese people's character flaws is absurd, and hateful.

    Josh Ozersky next article ought to be about a restaurant for rape victims with chairs with special notches on them to let the ladies know their skirts are too short so they won't be stupid enough to get themselves raped again...it will be a real knee slapper!-COLLAPSE

  • Walk into any Golden Corral at 6pm! Good article, funny!

  • This is satire! As a Fatty, I think its very funny (and is he right about those chairs) . At least America has heard of air conditioning and rooms are appropriately cool

  • I'd like to see a restaurant that recognizes the fact that women have breasts! My best friend and I, both rather generously endowed, found ourselves in one chain restaurant sitting on low benches at high tables, meaning that our endowments were laid out before us on the tabletop, as if on display. Our plates had to sit in the middle of the table. At first it was embarrassing and annoying, then it...+READ

    I'd like to see a restaurant that recognizes the fact that women have breasts! My best friend and I, both rather generously endowed, found ourselves in one chain restaurant sitting on low benches at high tables, meaning that our endowments were laid out before us on the tabletop, as if on display. Our plates had to sit in the middle of the table. At first it was embarrassing and annoying, then it got funny, finally we were laughing too hard to eat.

    So, who were those booths designed for? Men only? If we hadn't both been tall, as well as well-endowed, I guess our chins would have been resting on the table instead. Maybe we should have asked for booster seats to raise the girls up enough so we could reach our dinners.

    I realize the article mentioned was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but really the need is for restaurants that will fit most, whether portly, chesty, petite, or average. If in an effort to squeeze in more tables you make 50% of your diners uncomfortable, well, that's 50% of that night's crowd that won't be back again. Whether it's giant chairs that fit the tall or big person and leave the petite ones with their feet dangling inches from the floor, or tiny chairs that only the very petite butt can fit into, it's a bad business.-COLLAPSE

  • This is a little egregious; isn't James Beard revered as a chef and gourmand, and he certainly was in the camp of the obese. He is not agrandized for that - he had a 'superior appetite".

    I admit, I CAN'T STAND watching fat people eat - Paula Deen gives me the creeps, but isn't there a limit to the mocking that should go on?

  • Well, Dana1974, there is such a restaurant. Unfortunately, it's in Germany:

    http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,782747,00.html

    At least the article is in English. :)

  • Having been a fatso at various times in my life, I have to say this restaurant already exists. It is called Old Country Buffet in Indianapolis and it is one of my favorite places. It remains the only place I have ever seen the amazing sight of a woman sitting in three chairs, strapped to an oxygen tank, while eating a piece of fried chicken.

  • I thought this article was cheeky and fun. Let's face the issue head on, America has a serious obesity issue and either most people are too lazy ignorant to live in moderation. The overweight can pick one or both. Either way get sense of humor and move on. Stop saying you will unsubscribe because it could be moderately offensive or you are one of the individual's that needs the lazy boy in a...+READ

    I thought this article was cheeky and fun. Let's face the issue head on, America has a serious obesity issue and either most people are too lazy ignorant to live in moderation. The overweight can pick one or both. Either way get sense of humor and move on. Stop saying you will unsubscribe because it could be moderately offensive or you are one of the individual's that needs the lazy boy in a frigid restaurant to survive.-COLLAPSE

  • All restaurants are for fat people.

    I just order *two* Moons Over my Hammy.

    Then I'm in hammy heaven.

    (I liked this article.)

  • Awwwwwww, go get a sense of humor!! Or move here to the Midwest, where I think this concept has already been in existence for years!! I love how I was overweight my whole life on the East Coast, and now people ask me how I stay in shape here in Ohioooooooooo!!

  • Coming from a long line of fat people this amuses me greatly. Also with regards to the other posters, you do realize that the more controversial an article is, the more page views it will generate hence increasing revenue for the site.
    I'm in remission but my two diabetic overweight parents would be completely and utterly happy at such an establishment.

  • I Will be unsubscribing to Chow for even posting this article.

  • or I should say, the closest I've gotten to an ideal restaurant is bd's Mongolian Grill. And they still cook in vegetable oil. The notion that animal fats are dangerous is a myth; if you look at what people are actually eating while gaining weight or otherwise getting sick, you find wheat and corn and soy in nearly everything. I found that if I cut those out but eat butter and beef fat and lard...+READ

    or I should say, the closest I've gotten to an ideal restaurant is bd's Mongolian Grill. And they still cook in vegetable oil. The notion that animal fats are dangerous is a myth; if you look at what people are actually eating while gaining weight or otherwise getting sick, you find wheat and corn and soy in nearly everything. I found that if I cut those out but eat butter and beef fat and lard and so on, I'm just fine. Cholesterol's good, trigs are good, blood sugar's good, weight's coming off. Give me a restaurant that caters to *those* dietary choices. There isn't one yet.-COLLAPSE

  • this is a sad American way to make people think we ARE justa s stupid as they think we are.(people being other countries) Obesity should be taken more seriously,its a very bad article. im not fat,but m not skinny. This is really disheartening.

  • Well, if he hates himself that much, he can feel free to ghettoize himself off in a Stereotype Diner. I would just love to be able to find a restaurant where I could eat a grain-free, sugar-free meal with all real ingredients. Something low-carb, Paleo or Primal. I may be fat, but I'm trying to get healthy and am losing weight, and every single restaurant I visit either adds starch and sugar to...+READ

    Well, if he hates himself that much, he can feel free to ghettoize himself off in a Stereotype Diner. I would just love to be able to find a restaurant where I could eat a grain-free, sugar-free meal with all real ingredients. Something low-carb, Paleo or Primal. I may be fat, but I'm trying to get healthy and am losing weight, and every single restaurant I visit either adds starch and sugar to almost everything or cooks it all in trans-fat-laden vegetable oil. I don't get why anyone makes fun of fat people for being unhealthy when obesity is only one marker of chronic metabolic illness, and you skinny people are not off the hook either.-COLLAPSE

  • Have you been to the Heart Attack Grill?

  • I thought fat people had a sense of humor, these comments seem to prove otherwise...

  • I don't need a whole restaurant to myself. I'd settle for regular restaurants placing their tables far enough apart that I can get the to Banquette without shoving my ass in someone else's appetizer.

  • If you already knew this was offensive (as you clearly did in your twee little asides), then why post such a backward disgusting article? I don't even want to go into the whole business about how not all fat people are the same, not all fat people eat unhealthily, blah blah blah -- because I'm sure you already know all of that. Surely you do, right? I mean, REALLY? And let me just add that...+READ

    If you already knew this was offensive (as you clearly did in your twee little asides), then why post such a backward disgusting article? I don't even want to go into the whole business about how not all fat people are the same, not all fat people eat unhealthily, blah blah blah -- because I'm sure you already know all of that. Surely you do, right? I mean, REALLY? And let me just add that lumping together "fat people" in such a hateful way, with such old tired stereotypes as unhealthy eating (to name only one) seems extra ridiculous from a site that recently posted both "Fudge-Dipped Ritz Are Mind-Blowing" as well as "How to Make Doritos Consomme".-COLLAPSE

  • There is so much wrong with this article I don't even know where to start. I'll just say that no, Ozersky, being a person of size yourself does not make it okay to shame and belittle other people of size. Fat people are not a monolith that all hate seeing themselves in mirrors, that all enjoy eating as much butter-laden food as possible, sexless, and demand special chairs. A "fat person diner" is...+READ

    There is so much wrong with this article I don't even know where to start. I'll just say that no, Ozersky, being a person of size yourself does not make it okay to shame and belittle other people of size. Fat people are not a monolith that all hate seeing themselves in mirrors, that all enjoy eating as much butter-laden food as possible, sexless, and demand special chairs. A "fat person diner" is an impossibility because it assumes all fat people have the same interests. I suggest Ozersky learn some body positivity and that the Chow staff learns some as well. Perhaps they could have put a much different spin on this news then.-COLLAPSE