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The Pennsylvania Dutch Butter Me Up

Behind a glass pane at the Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia you can watch an assembly line of bonneted and bearded Amish men and women kneading and forming malty dough.

Walk round to the other side of the counter at Fisher’s and order up some soft pretzels, straight from the oven, sprinkled with crunchy salt and slathered with butter. They are chewy, slightly sweet, and have a crisp, thin crust that offers just the right amount of textural contrast to the airy interior.

Fisher’s Soft Pretzels
Reading Terminal Market
12th & Arch streets, Philadelphia, PA
215-592-8510

Rosé and Offal

“When the food gestapo finally kicks down our door,” I said to my wife, “and I confess under duress that I simply cannot love the flavor of pork kidney, no matter how hard I try, will you back me up?”

“I always back you up, baby. You know that.”

I do know that. It’s true. But I know also that I sometimes strain my wife’s loyalty, and that I had strained it that very night—by serving her the pork meatballs recipe from Richard Olney’s Simple French Food. The recipe called for pork variety meats, so I’d picked up a liver, heart, and kidney from Marin Sun Farms at the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market, here in San Francisco.

I never expected my wife to love it—the recipe fell more into the category of what we call, in our household, my “arts and crafts projects.” These are vaguely self-indulgent acts of more or less nonutilitarian creativity, as defined by my wife’s very low likelihood of wanting to eat any. Acknowledging all this, and putting a name to it, has been healthy for our marriage, because it has removed any pressure on L to eat the dishes that fall into this category (larded pork liver in aspic, anyone?), and it has likewise freed me up to make said dishes. Everyone, after all, is entitled to random creative acts.

So it wouldn’t have been a big deal, on an ordinary night. But then something unexpected happened: My in-laws agreed to come for dinner. I love my in-laws, they love food, and they’ve taken me to a lot of spectacular restaurants, so I’m always wishing I could cook for them. But it doesn’t happen.

I complain about this, periodically, to L: “Why don’t your parents ever come over, anyway? Is it our house? Is it my food?” L just laughs and smiles and ducks the question, taking the blame herself and muttering something vague about how she and her mother both prefer it this way. Because my wife is exquisitely articulate, and allergic to fuzzy thinking, I know that this is not the whole story. But I never get any further, and I usually just let it go for another few months.

Anyway, all of a sudden, they were coming. It was a gorgeous spring evening in California, cool breezes and radiant light, even some added fun: My brother-in-law’s kids were tagging along with my wife’s parents. Great little boys, they are much loved by my little girls, so we had a party on our hands.

Which brings me to the menu. Why oh why couldn’t I have been roasting a simple chicken? Or turning out some beautiful braise? Or even just making a ragoût of spring vegetables? Why did I have to be experimenting with organ meats?

Well, my mother-in-law insisted she loved the dish, which was some consolation. My father-in-law said that he liked it too. My wife took a tiny nibble and shoved the plate ever so slightly away. I ate quite a lot, trying to convince myself that I loved it like everything I’ve ever made from Olney, but the truth was that the taste of the kidney, in the mélange, was almost unbearable.

The only thing that rescued the meal, in my view, was the beautiful Fort Ross rosé we drank, a flawless accompaniment. Here’s the upshot on organ meats: I’m not done trying, not willing to give up. I have eaten and loved heart meat; I have eaten and loved a variety of liver meats. But kidney … I’ve just never liked kidney.

Anyway, the wine, which was beautiful:

2006 Fort Ross Vineyard Rosé
Grapes: 100 percent Pinot Noir
Wood: 1 month in used French oak, 3 months in stainless steel (hey, this is a rosé, so it’s not about wood)
Alcohol: 14 percent
Price: $16 from the winery
Other Winemaking Data I Think Is Worth Repeating: The 2007 vintage should be released within the next few weeks. Also, this wine is made with free-run juice bled away from the red Pinot Noir program. Fort Ross has just bottled the 2007 vintage and will probably release it in six weeks.
My Tasting Notes: To my palate, this rosé has more backbone than many. It’s a well-structured wine, in fact, with good acidity and a bright, fresh fruit quality—but quite distinct from the lighter, more fruit-forward rosés.

Ferry Plaza Farmers Market Getting Greener

What could be greener than a farmers’ market with fresh produce going straight to the consumer? Well, even a farmers’ market makes some environmental impact, and the San Francisco Ferry Plaza Farmers Market is looking to reduce its waste footprint. According to the weekly e-newsletter:

On Saturdays … more than one hundred 45-gallon garbage bags are filled with food scraps, plastic water bottles, coffee cups, paper plates, packaging, soda cans and other discarded things, all of which eventually end up in the landfill. And that’s just at the market; it doesn’t include packaging and plastic bags. Over the course of the year, our sellers distribute over 1,000,000 plastic bags, most of which are not ultimately reused or recycled.

To combat this waste problem, the Center for Urban Education About Sustainable Agriculture (CUESA), which manages the market, is implementing a Waste Wise program. In the works since January, this program aims to reduce the use of plastic bags, coffee cups, and other food containers. It will encourage compostables and recyclable packaging, and will set up seven monitored waste stations (yes, all sorting will be supervised and approved). As the newsletter explains, “Monitors ensure that shoppers sort their throw-aways into the right bin. Otherwise, contamination occurs, which can mean that a whole bin of recycling or compost has to go to the landfill.”

The program will go fully online with a celebration in late April, to coincide with Earth Day, but CUESA is looking for volunteers and sponsors now. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.

Raw Foods and Redemption

Sure, I’ve dabbled with raw foods and juicing—but I grew up in the hippie days of California, so it’s not that big a leap. But what if I were a fiftysomething, overweight Italian New Yorker with drugs in his background, a case of hepatitis C, and a cynical view of life? What if I were Frank?

May I Be Frank? is a documentary film in progress, put together by a couple of twentysomething “vegan hipsters” from Café Gratitude, a minichain of San Francisco–area restaurants brimming with raw food and empowering mantras (think: I am abundant, I am joyful). One day Frank Ferrante stumbles into one of the cafés, where the hipsters attempt to transform his life with 42 days of raw foods, positive thinking, and the odd colonic thrown in for good measure. The goal: Help Frank achieve his life’s dream of falling in love.

The film is still in progress—hoping for a June completion to submit to the Toronto International Film Festival—but the teaser piqued my interest. It’s culture clash with a side of wheat grass juice and the hope for redemption. Sign me up.

Demogurts Versus Yopublicans

Stonyfield Farm is inviting America to elect its next yogurt. The candidates are divided into three categories: Yopublicans (rich, whole-milk yogurts), Demogurts (fat-free yogurts that support preventive health care), and Indelicious (moderate low-fat flavors). Right now, there are 15 candidates, but according to the Stonyfield website, those will be narrowed down to 3. Currently on top: Pomegranate Berry (Demogurt–NH), White Chocolate Raspberry (Yopublican–NH), and Piña Colada (Indelicious–FL).

Personally, I’m not too interested in the front runners. Being that I’m already devoted to the low-fat Caramel Underground flavor, I’m torn between low-fat Dulce de Leche and fat-free Caramel Apple. And truth be told, I’m considering crossing party lines for the whole-milk Vanilla Chai. One can only imagine that it’ll be a tough race for Stonyfield fans, because several of the new flavors sound pretty delicious. (This contest is a far cry from the recent Kettle People’s Choice contest, which included new chip-flavor nominees like Orange Ginger Wasabi. Ew.)

You can cast your vote now to help choose which flavors will run in the fall election, and the winner will be “inaugurated” and available in stores in January 2009. To sweeten the deal, there’s even a flavor election sweepstakes—one lucky voter will be “selected at random to receive 365 coupons to purchase 365 6oz. cups of yogurt throughout the year.”

Frozen Cocktails: Hot or Not?

Between the opening of Manhattan’s kitschy new tiki room the Rusty Knot, and the Distilled Spirits Council’s recent tiki-themed party, it seems that mai tais could be making a comeback in New York City. Kristin Donnelly at Food & Wine has high hopes for this potential barroom fad: “One trend I hope will accompany the revival of tiki: the elevation of frozen drinks. I grew up snagging sips of my mom’s piña coladas, and most summers, when I’m far away from New York, I order one and enjoy it despite its mouth-coating sweetness,” she writes.

Mixologist Jim Meehan of PDT was whipping up frozen piña coladas at the tiki party last week, but he claims that he’s “still anti-blender at the bar.” Granted, one can’t truly experience the intricacies of fine spirits when they’re frothed up with blended ice, but is anyone else out there craving a frozen cocktail comeback?

A Little Snack for a Smartypants

If you’re reading this, you’re probably at the office killing time. After all, who comes in on Monday morning just raring to get right to work? Allow me to distract you for just a few minutes more with a pair of quizzes that test your food smarts.

First we have the Contemporary Comestibles Quiz from Epi-log, a roundup of questions centering on unusual food news. I’ve gotta tell you, I’m pretty up on this kind of thing, and I still didn’t know what one food British chef Andrew Forster has eaten since he was a toddler, or what sentence was given to China’s former head of food drug and safety, Zheng Xiaoyu. Thought-provoking, Epi-log! Good work!

The second, the Pasta Shape Identification Quiz (via Slashfood), is no less mentally challenging. There are a lot of shapes out there, and the differences are subtle. If you know your rotelle from your fusilli, and your ditalini from your cavatelli, you’ll come out feeling smug and smart. On the other hand, it’s really tough telling vermicelli from spaghetti. You might not be as smart as you thought. I know I wasn’t.

Chop, Crunch, Simmer, Squat

Nancy Lemieux’s Cookercise workout doesn’t involve bench-pressing a 15-1/2-quart, minestrone-filled Le Creuset Dutch oven (which weighs in at 26 pounds when it’s empty), but it does offer instructions on burning calories without leaving your kitchen.

The Orlando Sentinel recently published a recipe and accompanying workout called “Hoppin’ Halibut” and explains the structure of Lemieux’s book, Cookercise: The Cooking Workout:

[D]epending on the dish, you may do several knee-to-chest lifts while ingredients are simmering, then add pasta, reduce heat to medium and step back for four more minutes of lifting. Or, you may toss asparagus in a strainer and slip in one minute of tummy crunches.

The whimsically dubbed ‘Chick with Shapely Shoulders’ recipe, for instance, combines cooking chicken tenders with a shoulder workout.

The book includes pictures of the proper form for each exercise and comes with a CD that you can listen to while you cook and work out. If you’ve got to see it to believe it, YouTube offers a clip of Lemieux working out in her kitchen with her young daughter.

As someone who is constantly trying to balance exercise and eating, I understand the desire to squeeze in a few squats here and there. But for me, the contentment I feel when doing yoga or cooking dinner stems from the single-mindedness of each activity. Whether I’m chopping onions or finding my downward dog, I enjoy the meditative state of focusing on a single task. Plus, if I’m doing crunches while my sauce is simmering, who’s gonna wash off my cutting boards and set the table?

Of course, Cookercise might work for the devoted multitaskers among us, but I’m holding out for the workout video that teaches me how to use my cast iron cookware as free weights.

One Bag Later, I’m a Junk Foodaholic

Junk food isn’t my thing. Potato chips tend to languish in my near vicinity, while bananas and yogurt don’t stand a chance. Proof of this are the two unopened bags of potato chips that have been on my desk for a month. However, when I tried the Arico Cassava Chips (cassava is a root plant from South America) that were recently sent to CHOW HQ, I ended up shamefully strolling around the office stuffing them in my mouth as fast as possible. The Ginger on Fire flavor has a spicy, slightly sweet tang that doesn’t disappoint, and fits into the recent trend of chips with “Thai seasonings.” The Sea Salt Mist flavor is cleanly salty without being greasy. With less fat than potato chips and twice the fiber, it’s tough to feel entirely guilty about hogging the bag.

Arico Cassava Chips are available at select stores nationwide.

Ballpark Estimate

Take me out to the ball game, take me out with the crowd. Buy me some fruit skewers and vegan dogs: In an undeniable harbinger of spring, Forbes.com has posted a piece called “Healthiest and Unhealthiest Ballpark Snacks.”

Like Eat This, Not That!, the Forbes piece suggests you substitute baked potatoes and wraps for greasy barbecue. And we won’t even talk about the all-you-can-eat sections at several ballparks (in a stunning display of restraint, beer is not included in the all-you-can-eat price).

But really, who are these articles helping? Presumably most people over the age of 15 know that cheese fries are not very healthy and salads are better for you. Accompanied by a slideshow that shows glistening heaps of nachos in near-pornographic glory, articles like this one are probably more likely to just give those who choose to eat junk food a good idea of the tastiest ways to ingest the most calories.

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