The “what to buy now” section of Bon Appétit teaches the magazine’s readers about “spring’s freshest must-have finds” (article not available online). So, what must we have this spring, and why?
Thing: Knit doughnut toys
Available for a mere … $35
Justification: “The adorable soft knit doughnuts come in a set of five and are cute enough to eat—almost.” Also, they will “inspire imagination rather than cause cavities.”
Rebuttal: “Oh boy, let’s play DOUGHNUTS! I have a doughnut … and … it’s a doughnut. But I can’t eat it. And it’s hand-knit. What’s on TV, Mom?”
Reasonably priced alternative: Actual doughnuts, $3.99.
Thing: Silver tongs
Available for a mere … $350
Justification: “These handcrafted sterling silver tongs are polished to a glossy shine, like jewelry for your table.”
Rebuttal: Seriously? $350? Silver is about $17 a troy ounce. There are 14 troy ounces to the pound. So instead of some tongs, you could buy a pound and a half of silver. And some tongs.
Reasonably priced alternative: $10 silver tongs on eBay, and a pound of silver.
Thing: Egg cozies
Available for a mere … $19 to $21 each
Justification: “Chick- and bunny-shaped felt egg cozies will add whimsy to your table.”
Rebuttal: Have you ever—in your weirdest, wildest nightmares—thought that your hard-cooked egg needed a felt cozy?
Reasonably priced alternative: Not buying a felt egg cozy.
Thing: Recipe box
Available for a mere … $119
Justification: “With hand-embossed dividers and 100 percent cotton card stock, this wooden box is worth all of your best recipes.”
Rebuttal: Wow, 100 percent cotton card stock? That’s gotta be at least $80 worth of value all by itself!
Reasonably priced alternative: A Bon Appétit-branded recipe box, $19.99.
Hilarious, who do they think they are, Gourmet?
Very funny. There are apparently an awful lot of people out there with more money than brains. Obviously what I need to do is to come up with my own ridiculously expensive thingamajigger that lots of rich people will willingly part with a lot of cash to own.
Well that explains it … we’ve all received the PARODY issue of bon appetit ….. is the cover date April 1st?