Table for One?

I’m writing this from the airport in Lima, Peru, having been here for the last few days on assignment for Bon Appétit. I’m thinking again of the strange journey down here, and how it went from bad to wonderful (involving a nice enough wine) to ghastly.

Step one was a delay on the tarmac at the San Francisco airport, making my connection hopeless before we even left the ground. Step two was arriving in Miami to learn that I would have a six-hour layover before they stuck me on a red-eye that would cost me my first night in Lima. Determined to make the most of a bad situation, I walked out to the taxi lane and approached two handsome young Brazilian guys to ask where in Miami I should go for a walk—where I might find restaurants, and maybe even the beach.

“Join us,” said the more musclebound of the pair, and soon I was in the front seat of a cab while the two lovers—yes, they were lovers, and sweetly happy to see each other—caught up in the back seat. Half an hour later, I was footloose in South Beach. Having never been to Miami before, I loved the serendipity of the moment, strolling in the warm evening. After a long walk on the sand, with my jeans rolled up to let my feet get wet in the shallows, I found a gym and had a long workout and a shower, to stimulate my appetite.

Then I walked around the corner to a place called Grillfish. Now this part was not so impressive: If I’d had my wits about me, I would’ve checked in with the Chowhound Florida board for a dinner rec, like I’ve done successfully in other cities (Lisbon being a memorable example). But I didn’t have my wits about me.

Nevertheless, the place delivered what it promised and what I wanted—a nice piece of grilled fish—and when I saw a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc on the wine list, I ordered a glass on pure reflex. And while I ate my fish and drank a perfectly fine and bright wine, well-enough balanced and satisfying—the kind that makes you feel like some very basic, no-brainer wine knowledge has at least a little value, as in, when in doubt, get the Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand—I had a version of a moment I experience often these days. It’s that moment when I’m traveling alone, for work, far from my family and therefore a little lonely, and nevertheless finding a little bubble of peace and pleasure at a table for one, with a glass and a dish that bring me a small measure of joy.

Comments

  1. I loved reading this. I know what you mean about traveling alone, far from my people and feeling a bit lonely, and finding a little bubble of peace & pleasure w/a glass & a dish. The ones that spring to mind for me are shrimp & grits (w/a pina colada oddly enough) in Charleston, and chowder in a sourdough bowl in San Francisco.

  2. I eat alone now and again here in LA. Usually, I seek the comfort of chat with a good sushi chef and a seat at the bar, but I had a really nice dinner alone at a place called Alexis Greek Cafe. the owner herself knew just the right amount of attention and space to give me. She also comped me a really nice glass of wine to go with my meal!

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Table for One?

There’s a scene in the ’80s movie The Lonely Guy when a solo Steve Martin steps into a restaurant and asks for a table for one. The whole place goes silent, and as Martin is escorted to his seat a spotlight follows him.

That’s the way dining alone feels for some people, judging from an article in Florida’s St. Petersburg Times, “Party of One,” which attempts to reassure solitary diners. Their numbers are up: 9 percent of meals, or about $48 billion worth of the $537 billion total spent eating out in the United States this year, are consumed by the unaccompanied. Lone wolves also eat more quickly (turn those tables!) and are great tippers: 20 percent versus about 15 percent for larger parties.

So for the most part, restaurants should be happy to see these single diners, who empty their pockets and scuttle out briskly. St. Petersburg Times reporter Laura Reiley gathers a quote from Roy’s of Tampa: “We never use the verbiage ‘dining alone tonight?’ or any negative language,” says Robert Snow, Roy’s managing partner.” And at least one San Francisco resturant I know of offers customers a free meal if they’re asked “Just one?” by the hostess.

But customers are still edgy. Psychology professor Bella DePaulo, author of a book on singles, conducted an experiment that proves this point:

To see what others thought of solo diners, she showed shoppers at a mall photographs of people dining alone, then in couples, then in threesomes and foursomes.

‘It was very interesting,’ says DePaulo. ‘We got perceptions that were not at all negative. Some people guessed the (solo diner’s) friends just weren’t available that evening, or that they were a business traveler or that they just wanted some time alone.’

Her findings also reveal that single diners’ feelings of conspicuousness are unfounded: ‘People often think others are paying more attention to them than they actually are.’

I tell this to my husband (who hates when I suddenly burst into loud choruses of “Ghost Busters” or “Bohemian Rhapsody”) all the time!

Need any more convincing that dining alone is kosher? If the Sex and the City ladies can do it, so can you. If you’re still nervous, here are some tips for solo diners from CHOW’s own Helena Echlin.

On an unrelated note, the St. Petersburg Times has a fun snack-food blog featuring two terrific YouTube commercials. You’ve just gotta see the visual puns in the All-Bran ad.

Comments

  1. I thought i was the only one who burst into “Ghost Busters”. It’s glad to know I’m NOT ALONE.

  2. I’m not sure how much waiters actually love a 20% tip from a single diner. It takes pretty much the same amount of work to wait on 2 people as it does to wait on 1 person, and 15% of 100 is a whole lot more than 20% of 50. I tend to tip 25% or more when dining alone just because of that factor. Well, that and my meals are usually not pricey and a $2 tip seems completely cheap no matter what percentage it turns out to be.

    I do, however, get irked whenever I get the ‘Just one?’ or similar questions from the host. Maybe they don’t mean it, maybe it’s not even there, but in my self-consciousness, I always hear just a little contempt in their voice as they ask.

  3. Here’s a big reason for me: unless I have someone to talk to, I tend to eat way too fast. Thus, it’s a bad idea for me to go anywhere nice by myself because it doesn’t make much financial sense to spend $50 for 30 minutes of dining.

    But I also just think of dining out as a social event, a natural opportunity for conversation in addition to the just plain nice feeling of mutually enjoying food. It’s not the same by myself.

    Going to movies is a whole other thing, though — I’ll gladly do it solo, and I don’t even understand why it in itself is considered that much of a social activity.

  4. While I will dine alone, I do not like attending a movie alone. But I shall admit that I will not go to nicer dining facilities alone. Typically alone, I will dine at places like Denny’s & Steak n Shake. But maybe that is just me, it is not because I do not want people to see me alone. I think, why waste a good atmosphere and good food on just me….

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