Being vegan definitely ain’t easy, and finding romance is no cakewalk either. But down in New Zealand there are a bunch of people who are making things even more difficult by applying their diet preferences to their sex lives:
Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals.
In a letter to Salon, one vegan Kiwi explains why he chooses to only get it on with fellow vegans, even though that means narrowing his options to a small percentage of the population:
[D]on’t get me started on the turn-off of contemplating some deep tongue action with a person who uses that same orifice to masticate/consume the flesh of (formerly) sentient [sic] beings.
Since the term “vegansexual” started gracing headlines last week, there’s been some backlash among Ruhlman readers. Many of the omnivorous commenters have said that they would avoid dating vegans because, among other reasons, they can be embarrassing at restaurants. With that in mind, the vegansexuals might be on to something. Perhaps weeding out meat-eaters helps them zero in on the folks they’d get along with better anyway.
Shunning potential sexual partners on account of their diet seems a bit extreme to me, but in a serious relationship, it makes sense that a pair of vegans (or a pair of red-meat-lovers) would be happier together in the long run. Does anyone know a vegan and a meat-eater who’ve got a lasting relationship? And if so, what do they feed their kids?
This reminds me of something I saw once. These three girls were on a talk show and they were representing the NYC Chapter of PETA. One of the girls told the story of how she became a vegan. Apparently she had met a girl in college who was vegan, and over the course of her friendship she became vegan as well.
The reason why I am bringing this up is that the girl who told the story said that she would never date someone who was not vegan.
So, let’s recap: She was turned onto Veganism by an “open-hearted” person who (apparently) refused to make initial judgments. But she will not date someone who has yet to be “enlightened”.
Maybe it is just me, but that stuff drives me crazy.
Me too. I’m a vegetarian slowly making the transition into veganism and I’m dating the biggest carnivore I’ve ever met- because I love him. He could eat plastic for all I care.
Morgan Spurlock’s girlfriend is a vegan chef — and he ate at McDonald’s for 30 days straight!
They discuss what his Big Mac’ing did to their sex life in this article (http://www.futuremovies.co.uk/filmmaking.asp?ID=86):
“Normally we have a very healthy sex life,” laughs Jamieson “but within days …”, clicks her fingers for emphasis, “immediately, no interest. It wasn’t happening.
hmm… I liked dating lots of different “eaters” — but sharing the pleasure of great food with an adventurous omnivore is fantastic fun. Some things you can share with a partner, some you cannot.
“…and he ate at McDonald’s for 30 days straight!”
I don’t mean to change the subject, but he did not eat McDonalds for 30 days staright, he GORGED himself.
One thing that never gets mentioned during that infamous period is that a woman at a Think Tank also decided to eat at McDonalds for 1 month, but she also decided to make personal choices (shocking!) and lost 10 pounds.
Well I’m an omnivore married to a former-vegan-turned-vegetarian and we make it work. It definitely makes an impact on what I order when I go out and what I make at home but I’m free to do what I want. In terms of cooking, I cook vegetarian and then add my own meat when I want it. In turn, he has relaxed a bit on dairy (though he cooks and usually orders vegan for himself). He is vegan for ethical reasons.
We don’t have kids yet but when we do I’m sure the issue of vegetarianism/omnivorism is going to come up. I’m of the opinion to let the kids decide but in the meantime I do believe that even those of us who eat meat would be best off eating less, but better quality meat.
I mean factory farming is evil whatever side of the eating meat debate you’re on. On that my husband and I agree completely. I don’t eat factory-farmed meat. Which makes eating meat more expensive. Which makes me consume less.
The other issue of course is leather clothes – I now try to buy a lot less leather but there are awesome vegan shoe and bag lines so that’s not too hard.
Anyway the point is we found a middle ground. I blog about it sometimes….
Uh, not leather clothes, leather *shoes.* We’re not like that.
Not that there’’s anything wrong with being like that, except from a vegan point of view of course.
I eat meat and my husband has been a vegetarian for 12 years of which the last five he has been a vegan. We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, so I would say it can work! Our children are 14 and 15 years old and were vegatarian’s for the first 5 years or so of thier lives. Very very very difficult to do the vegetarian thing with kids and I eventually gave up even with the assistance of the only (at that time) specialist/diatician in Canada who specialized in veggy kids. Another story all together and I digress…
As a family, we do not eat alot of meat mainly by default but we do BBQ in the summer. Husband still loves to BBQ even though he won’t eat it,lol. His vegan-ism is strictly motivated by health as he has major cholestoral issues and is trying to control it without meds. Actually, he eats a vegan diet that is ZERO fat as well….you want to talk about making it hard to feed the guy? LOL
Respect each other decisions, as anything in marriage, and it will be fine.
I think it’s an understandable position. If you think eating/wearing/etceteraing animal products is wrong–morally, indefensibly wrong, as many vegans do–then to be with someone who isn’t at least a vegetarian seems to go against the principles you hold. I don’t agree with the premise of veganism, but if you accept the premise, this seems like a logical conclusion.
Depends on who is making the meals. I could see how gross it would be for Morgan Spurlock’s partner to be intimate with him. Just imagine the taste/smell! Gross.
On the other hand I, for one, think it is a personal choice. But it is easier and more enjoyable for me to prepare/share a meal with someone who enjoys and appreciates similar food.
It is an idealist perspective, which is fine for young people in new relationships, but in marriage it is key to respect each others individuality.
I can certainly understand how vegans would prefer or even limit their dating options to other vegans, given that many of them feel so strongly about their reasons for shunning all animal products.
I, as an omnivore, could personally never date a vegan; I admire their commitment to their beliefs, but it’s often just too militant for my tastes. I don’t think I’d even date a vegetarian: I have lots of vegetarian friends and I find that going out to eat with them can be very tedious at times, simply because if we go to shared plate restaurants, I’m stuck with a mostly vegetarian meal. I dislike tofu, and I have a health condition that forces me to dramatically limit my fibre intake, so I can only tolerate small amounts of certain vegetables and must avoid others diligently. Between our food restrictions, it’s hard to hack together a good meal option that makes everyone happy.
Additionally, I just *love* Thai food, and have studied and cooked it for eight years. If you can’t or won’t eat fish sauce, you’re undateable to me. Food and cooking are just far too important in my life for me to not be able to share my culinary journeys with my loved one.
I loathe the thought of animals which we kill having to suffer to give us meat to eat. Still, I look the other way, and eat steak. I sympathise with vegetarians, but do not understand the logic of veganism.
How can it possibly harm a bovine to milk it and eat the butter or cheese? I wish someone would enlighten me. Thanks.
I am vegansexual.
When I met my girlfriend, I didn’t even think about the fact that she ate meat. I over the course of our relationship, without me saying anything to her, she became veg. and now is almost vegan.
I realized I don’t think i would be able to date or marry someone who is not vegan or at least veg. for the fact of cooking two different dishes and I just don’t like the smell of meats, fish, chicken, milk in my fridge or other non vegan products.
I think Vorpal and others have made the most important point- it’s not the diet so much as the militant stand people sometimes take on both sides of the issue. Anybody who’s inclined to put their dukes up whenever the subject is mentioned isn’t going to be happy with somebody who doesn’t eat the way they do for very long.
I’m dropping out of this; no has said anything about the deep down reasons why we cannot use animal products AT ALL in our diets. I see why eating flesh may not thrill some people, but what’s wrong with milk or butter?
We keep discussing the reasons for dating our own birds of a feather, which makes sense to me.
I’m seeing someone who won’t eat beef at all. So, at home we don’t eat beef, and I don’t eat it when he’s around. Period.
I’ve been a vegetarian for years, and when we first married my husband at meat. And he didn’t cook. After a few hilarious or torturous (depending on the viewpoint!) attempts to cook meat dishes for him which culminated with a turkey and gravy for Thanksgiving, meat was banned from our household. It was a mutual decision – okay he decided he didn’t want me cooking meat for him, and he doesn’t cook much of anything, and I was all to happy to agree :D So at home he ate vegetarian, when we were out he ate whatever he wanted, sometimes meat, sometimes a vegetable dish.
mymymichl – I’m not vegan, and can’t envision not eating cheese … But I imagine that vegans object to animal by-products because the animals are kept in captivity. Depending on the situation, yes, we are harming those animals.
it is not the captivity, it is the factory milking ,it is the ways that most animals are kept, it is when they stop making the milk they are sent away to become qtr pounders w/cheese.
i knew a guy that had 4 chickens they made enough eggs for he,his wife and kid when they stopped laying they just became pets over about 25 yrs as they died (natural causes) he replaced them
under those conditions (rare as they may be) i think that vegans would at least tolerate the animal products because there is no abuse there in any way
I’m a dedicated omnivore. When I eat meat, it’s usually off the bone. I like anatomy — it yields lots more flavor. I’d rather eat tofu than boneless chicken breast.
HOWEVER, I agree with the vegansexuals, for this reason — you can smell meat on a carnivore’s breath. It’s true. I quit cooking meat at home for about 1/2 year following the WTC attack (up close and personal). By the end of it, I could actually smell, or even sense, meat when I was in a deli/restaurant, distinguish it from anything else, regardless of the ventilation, etc.
For a vegan, this could probably be a big turn-off. Yes, even as someone who cooks oxtail and lamb shank, I am going to take the side of the the vegans.
Thanks for the enlightenment. I was (as usual) looking the wrong way at things. I have a condition which causes me to waste unless I eat enough protein. I love and choose fish most of the time to satisfy that need, and I drink milk, and love cheese. I think many or most dairy animals are valuable to their owners, and are well taken care of as to health and safety. I wonder what would happen to all of these creatures if they were suddenly turned loose to fend for themselves in the wild. Wolves, probably. I guess some of those people would consider my dog and cat as captive creatures, but they have the opportunity every day to leave, but they don’t.
Slaughter animals on the other hand always suffer. I feel guilty when I eat meat. I’m rethinking that.
I refer to Ralph Waldo Emerson when debates on things like this come up. Because I can certainly see the vegan point of view, but like others have said here, its the stridency and the dogmatic arrogance that turns many off to vegans. But Ralph put it right:
“I do not wish to be absurd and pedantic in reform. I do not wish to push my criticism on the state of things around me to that extravagant mark, that shall compel me to suicide, or to an absolute isolation from the advantages of civil society. If we suddenly plant our foot, and say, — I will neither eat nor drink nor wear nor touch any food or fabric which I do not know to be innocent, or deal with any person whose whole manner of life is not clear and rational, we shall stand still. Whose is so? Not mine; not thine; not his. But I think we must clear ourselves each one by the interrogation, whether we have earned our bread to-day by the hearty contribution of our energies to the common benefit? and we must not cease to _tend_ to the correction of these flagrant wrongs, by laying one stone aright every day.”
Ralph Waldo was indeed pedantic, but he made sense.
I wonder when Man ever will…
I’m done here
Bye
Your veganism ends at the edge of my dinner plate.
Man, if you want to avoid all animal products and live the vegan lifestyle, go for it. FWIW you have my blessing.
But when that’s not enough, and you call me a murderer because I eat meat or plastic shoe-wearing knucklehead vermin send death threats and terrorize a shop owner who sells foie gras, then it’s too far.
(See http://www.nofoiegras.org/FSrestaurant_chronicle.htm)
I don’t respect the philosophy as I’ve seen expressed in the above URL. I’ve hunted animals for meat, I’ve fished, I wear leather belts and shoes and jackets. My family was in the dairy business for decades. Yet the vegans I’ve heard declaim against the above I’ve found to be usually un- or misinformed and parroting hearsay. They really have no idea how a dairy operates or what has to happen for a gallon of milk or pound of butter to end up on someone’s table.
I don’t support brutal factory farming. Ideally, *all* our meat would be free range. I was brought up to hate cruelty to animals. We are their stewards, we are to care for them and use them wisely. So where vegans and I separate is our disagreement where the line is between cruelty and responsible animal husbandry.
Each person’s choice about what to eat and who to sleep with his his/her own business. But not every personal choice deserves a special name, which is what makes this “movement” ridiculous to me.
What’s next? Canisexuals only sleep with people who also love dogs? Libersexuals only sleep with political left-leaners? What about actors who only date other actors or soldiers who prefer mates who understand firsthand the harship of being in a military family? I’m sure we can all understand why people like to date those with similar interests and opinions, but let’s not get carried away.
“I couldn’t keep seeing him, he was an omnisexual” is always oing to sound dumb to me, even if I can understand the sentiment.
i agree with you PEI
but i have to make a funny here
we already have canisexuals
those who date ugly people (dogs) lol lol
Oh haw haw haw, ugly people are dogs, good one, Perv. Ugh. Gross.
I agree with Kenwritez. Ain’t nobody’s business if I do. Change such as that desired by vegans must be voluntary, and allow for alternatives for those who cannot sustain themselves on vegan diets.
My husband (vegan ~30 years) and I (vegan~15 years) lived on opposite coasts (he is MA, me in WA) when we met. We found each other via veggiedate.com . We’ve been (happily!) married for 4 years.