Low-carb, raw food, CR, allergies: Our diets have become as fragmented as a kaleidoscope, making planning any event where food is involved a nightmare requiring the lab skills of a food scientist, the sensitivity of an empath, and the precision of a master jewel thief. I get that.
But does The New York Times really have to quote people who make it seem as if the ethical beliefs of a bride and groom are inconveniences to be brushed aside?
I almost spit out my coffee when I read this quote in a story about wedding menu planning in the Times’s Wedding section:
Conflict over the wedding menu can occur … because of dietary restrictions or because the couple wish to impose their own dietary inclinations on their guests.
Elizabeth K. Allen, an owner of an event planning and design company in New York and Boston bearing her name, remembered doing a wedding reception for a couple who were vegans. That meant no meat, no eggs, no milk or other animal products.
‘I told them they needed to loosen up a little,’ Ms. Allen said. She suggested they at least broaden their horizons to a vegetarian menu so that the meal could include pasta, which has eggs in it.
‘I kept saying, “This is your belief, but this needs to be an evening for everybody,”’ Ms. Allen said. ‘Great-aunt Betty doesn’t necessarily want to eat vegan.’
Ultimately, the couple broke down and did a vegetarian menu so they could offer pasta to their guests. Last time I checked, there were a skillion vegan pastas out there …
If I were a vegan planning a wedding and the event planner told me to “loosen up,” I probably would find another event planner. I’m pretty sure that folks at Post Punk Kitchen could help out with a few names. And the annual wedding issue of Veg News profiles several couples who pulled off vegan weddings ranging from crunchy to elegant.
That’s awful. Almost every dried pasta I have is vegan (not on purpose, that’s just what it is!).
I think it’s ridiculous that a wedding planner would try to make people compromise their moral beliefs – would they try to convince a jewish couple to serve a bacon-topped caesar salad? Advise a hindu couple to serve fillet mignon?
Repulsive.
I tried to have a vegetarian wedding…and my M-I-L FREAKED OUT. She couldn’t fathom the idea of not eating dead animals at a life-cycle event. She thought the guests would go home hungry! For the sake of peace, I was forced to compromise, by serving fish. Eveyone agreed, the butternut squash ravioli was better than the fish!
Sorry, but the wedding is about the couple; the reception is supposed to be about the guests and making them comfortable. If someone is truely that hardline about their beliefs, at least have the common decency to let the guests know in advance so that they can eat beforehand if need be. I’m a confirmed omnivore and I love meat, but I made sure that there was plenty of vegetarian and vegan foods available so that all of our guests (please remember: **GUESTS**) would have foods they enjoyed.
What is most silly about this whole debate is that there are SO many absolutely delicious vegan options out there for any special event – including the food, the cake, the favors – that there’s no reason this should be such a big deal.
I recently attended a wedding where all the food was vegan, and frankly I don’t think anyone noticed the difference.
I would have dropped that wedding planner like a hot rock.
The sort of person who, as MY guest, would require that I compromise my moral principles rather than eat a lovely vegan meal, isn’t someone whose presence at my wedding would be of any import. As ashleytrailrunner says, no one’s likely to notice the difference unless someone brings it up, anyway.
Anyone who could attend a healthy, vegan meal and go home hungry has some serious hang-ups about eating.